A Thousand Years | Bloom x Valtor

The codex

I explained everything to the girls and all they did was hugging me. I feel so comfortable, knowing that they're welcoming me, no matter what I've done. I must've been awful and it's not even over yet.

I also told them about the whole thing with Valtor. Not that he hugged me and kissed my forehead before he sent me away. I will keep that to myself. It's our moment and I want to keep it a secret. No one should have an opinion on that. Sometimes things are more beautiful as secrets.

"He didn't kill you while you were sleeping? That's suspicious." Stella says. I was really mean to her during my bad phase and I already apologized but I'll feel guilty for the rest of my life. She told me how hard it was for her to see me like that and that hurt me even more. Especially because I don't know what's going to happen next. "He didn't. He said that he wants to fight me when I'm myself." For some reason I have to smile. It's amusing to know that he thinks that way. That he's really fair and didn't take advantage of my situation, like every other bad guy would.

"There is miss Faragonda!" Musa says. We agreed to meet at lunch today because she said that she wants to talk to me about everything. According to her it would be better if we talk under four eyes but I don't want to hide anything from the girls. I'll tell them about it anyway.

She is walking towards us. Joining us, on our lunch table. I scoot over to Flora so she has space to sit.

"Bloom. Professor Avalon told me about what happened. The shadow virus... I'm so sorry." She puts a hand on my shoulder. I shrink a bit because she sounds so sad that I remember how awful it actually is and how horrible it makes me feel. She knows how serious it is and she sounds so frustrated that I feel like that she won't have a solution for this like she usually has for anything. There's always a light, always a sign that there is a way out and she usually makes it happen. This time she doesn't seem really convinced about it and that terrifies me.

"How do you feel?" She asks. I shrug. "Unsure and insecure and scared... but I'm okay right now." I answer and she forces a smile. No matter what happens, she will always stay positive or at least try it but I know... there is something else behind it. We'll find out. "I can't believe that he reached you. It seems like you're attracting all evil lately." She shakes her head and the girls only listen. "What can we do about it? What am I supposed to do? There must be a way to stop it. I'm really scared and I don't know when it will attack me again." I admit. I'm really scared. All the time. I keep looking at the clock and watch how every minute passes, wondering when I'll lose myself again. It's scaring me and I can't do anything about it. There is no way to calculate when it gets me and nobody knows how to stop it except for Professor Avalon and... Valtor. I can't believe that not even miss Faragonda knows how to heal me.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about..." She says and I turn to her with my whole body, full of hope that she has a solution or more information. At this point I feel totally lost and lonely. Well... Valtor has made me feel less lonely about it but Faragonda's words are scaring me now.

"The person you become when it hits you is dangerous. You're a pitch dark dot on a white canvas. You know that you are more to me than a student but I need to protect the other students, the building, the books... you..." I let my shoulders sag. My stomach starts aching. She is right. Valtor is right. I'm evil. There's evil in me. Something awful that can destroy everything. Chaos. Something that can't be controlled.

I'm so selfish sometimes. I destroyed ancient books, I hurt the librarian and fought a professor. I wanted to stab Valtor with a knife. Me. Who's afraid of cutting vegetables too fast with a simple kitchen knife. I could and will do so much worse with time.

"And there's a way to stop you while you're unstable..." She continues and she doesn't sound optimistic at all. It's more like she's scared of telling me what it is. So it must be bad. I'm scared to ask. "What?" My voice is still husky. She holds my hand and I feel like I won't like what she's going to say at all...