𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐲𝐰𝐨𝐨𝐝'𝐬 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐝 {𝐀.𝐁}

Chapter Thirty-Seven

I feel my body jerk side to side as the paramedics haul up my bruised body on a white hospital bed to my room.

I watch hospital rooms rush me as bright lights hover above me. It all seems so loud as three paramedics; two women and a man, along with Austin and Harry continue to rush by my side.

Austin grips my hand, ranting words that I couldn't hear as all I can hear is the demeaning silence boom in my ears.

My eyes groggily try to remain open but I feel myself slowly sinking into oblivion. I hate how many times I've been in the hospital–how many times I've memerised the walls and procedures of what they usually do to me.

Being hauled into another ivory painted room, gleaming from the sun, I blink. I could only hear my pulsing thoughts–not even being able to understand them.

"She's okay. We just have to make sure the babies are okay after that fall," the male paramedic reassures Austin.

"But they are okay, right? Like–"

"Sir. We don't know yet until we conduct the procedures that's necessary. Give us time, okay?" He continues to press.

As the two women pry Austin and Harry out of the room, I lay there motionless. I didn't feel so good after that tumble. I couldn't even feel my body after it.

It takes only ten minutes. Ten minutes to make sure the babies and I are okay before Harry and Austin are tumbling back into the room.

Don't get me wrong, I'm mad on what happened between them and how that nearly ruined my chances at becoming a mother, but I'm especially mad at Austin for starting the fight and becoming this.

"Lillith, I'm so sorry on what happened. I shouldn't of snapped like that," Harry pleads his apologies as he grips my hand but I quickly brush him off harshly.

This may of been sudden and unexpected but I was mad at the whole scene. On how this nearly ended my pregnancy and how I'm always ending up in the hospital–right back to square one.

"Babe, look at me," Austin begins. I watch his face contour in a sour expression as he grabs my hand and his eyebrows knit together. "I'm sorry–"

"No, Austin. You're not sorry," I finally snap. I gaze directly at him. "If you were so sorry, you would've stopped with your first mistake but you just had to let your jealousy get the best of you," I continue as I wave my hand around angrily.

I see his mouth fall open but he doesn't say a word. I have so much to say.

"How could I expect you to be a good father if you can't even control your own emotions? Starting fights when threatened? I wouldn't even be able to trust you with our own children," I say.

"What? No, no, no, you can trust me. I swear I'll change. I won't be the man I was before–" he tries once again.

"No," I wave my hand. "You already had your chance back when I was in the coma. You swore you'll become a better man but here we are once again," I say as I gesture around the room again.

"You won't have to worry about me every again–"

"But I'm always worrying! You're the love of my life and father of my children. I can't be looking after all three of you. You're supposed to help me raise them–not me raise all three of you," I exclaim as I throw my hands in the air.

I see Austin's face turn into shame–body clamming up as his eyebrows remain knitted together and mouth tightened into a tight from all the sadness.

"Lillith, don't blame him–" Harry starts.

"And you," I point to him, body violently shaking. "Who do you think you are threatening my boyfriend like that? I thought you were my friend and you just stab me in the back like that?" I snap.

"You don't understand. I was mad and confused and I didn't want you to get hurt," he says as he inches closer again.

"But here I am!" I gesture to the room. "I'm back to the same hospital. Somehow, I'm always ending up back in this very same room, you know?" I say.

"You have to forgive me. I know you're mad at me–"

"And I am as a matter of fact. You could've hurt Austin and me in the process. However, I'm more mad at Austin," I say as my eyes snap onto him. "Only because you mean more than Harry does," I continue as his eyes lower.

That's when Austin takes a seat onto my bed and stares out the window. I know for a fact that he's debating on something but I didn't know what.

But what takes me off guard is when he looks over to Harry and frowns. "I'm sorry, man," his words force themselves off his tongue. "I shouldn't of let my emotions get the best of me," he says.

Staring at the scene, my mouth falls agape. Austin apologise to Harry? Now, that's a first you don't see everyday.

Gripping a handshake in approval, Harry nods. "And I'm sorry," he says.

Okay, but two grown men with egos so large apologising to one another? I just couldn't believe my ears and eyes.

With that, Harry walks right out with a quick sorry and goodbye before it's Austin and I once again in the very same room that we were in.

"I'm glad you said that," I whisper. And I did mean every word. Even if it was a quick apology, I knew it would resolve a thick layer of tension under the surface.

"And I meant it, Lillith," he says as he grips my hands. "And I want to apologise to you. I haven't been the best of person to you–always bound to make some mistakes in the long run," he sighs.

I stare at him and let him talk.

"But I'm really trying. It's really hard to forget everything I grew up with. When I'm threatened, dad always taught me to fight so that's what I did. It's because I love you that I don't want to lose you," he continues to say, eyes watering.

"Austin, you will lose me if you continue to fight like that. I like the sweet man who always laughed, who cared about me and the babies, and always tried to make right in the world. I don't like the one who's always in need to feel like a man through these meaningless fights," I speak as I grip his hands tightly.

"I know," he shakes his head as his black locks shake in the process. "And I'll try to change that, I swear to you. I won't let this be a problem for you and the twins," he says as he gazes into my eyes.

"It better not. But for now, I need a little space from you to clear my mind. Give me a day by myself, please?" I ask.

With that, he nods and places a kiss onto my forehead. I watch as he turns his back and leaves me alone in my room once again.

The thing is, I needed time. Time to process everything that happened and if I'm okay to continue with that. I needed time to actually forgive him after everything what happened.

Even though he makes me feel happy and beautiful, I needed time to mend my own heart that ripped everytime.

《》