Do you know why you're still here?
Can't say goodbye again
It hurts to much I fear
But how do I be safe
When you make me feel like
My only options are to
Abscond or repent?
Abscond or repent...
You're so close
But so far away
Do you expect an apology?
Sorry, I can't be
Everything you want from me
But why would you
Hate her more then you love me?
I thought you were the one
Who I had fun with
But each time you're here
You're so far over there
But I can't bring myself
To let you leave
Even if I can't manage mending bonds
I'm sorry I'm so fragile
I broke under your pressure once before
And now I'm so sharp it stings
It was only self defense
To hide here in this crevice
Where I feel safe while you're near
When I can't make myself leave
You make clear with you're actions
You wish to leave
But your words are sticky and sweet
Honey keeps me here
Till the stingers are bared
You say you always did mean well
You claim you want me here
Then you make me realize
You aren't the same
Or I'm not the same
Our sameness doesn't line up
Keep at arms length
So I can't break again
Or lose again
Don't you know why you're still here?
I keep you just barely near
Hate and fear dance elegantly
With love and memory
I can't let this be the end
Maybe it's all just a bad dream...
Why did you hate her more
Then you loved me?
Why did you choose them instead?
This was once my home
But you broke it
And now I'm alone
I can't let there be an end
But I know now
You're not the one
With which I had so much fun
That one doesn't exist anymore
That one I'll not see again
Memories painted
So much more brightly
Make me wonder how much was real
And how much is a fabrication
Of a time so far past
So long ago
I don't remember
I'm just here holding on
You made a life
Brand new
A new family, too
A new destination
A new path
New destruction in your wake
An unstable foundation
Started on lies you wouldn't admit
Ending the same way it started
With new lives in the mist
I will keep you here
Not to close
But not to far
Just enough to not lose
What I've already lost, I fear
I can not bare to abscond
And this is as close to repenting as I'll allow
Am I suppose to apologize
For trying to be safe?
