In Front Of A Camera

• chapter thirty two •

//TW: Eating disorders

Harry woke up in a cold sweat, gasping when his eyes opened as he was laying in bed next to Louis. His heart was beating so fast and he had anxiety in his belly.

He'd been having the same dreams for days now, so scared something would happen and he'd be taken from Louis' house.

He snuck out of bed, needing to see if the door was locked. He went downstairs and saw that the door was double locked, he even jiggled the doorknob to be 100% sure. After that he went upstairs to Everleigh's room.

He had to check to see if she was still where he'd left her.

He opened the door quietly, seeing she was still sound asleep in her crib and he sighed with relief. After that he shut the door again and headed back to bed.

"Another nightmare?" Louis asked the second he walked back into the room. Once he'd gotten out of bed it had woken Louis and he knew exactly where Harry had gone, to check the lock and see if Everleigh was still in her crib.

Harry just nodded softly, tearing up a little bit as he got back under the covers. Louis opened his arms for him, feeling so bad that Harry couldn't just rest.

Harry cuddled so close to Louis, really needing the extra support and love right now. "It's the same dreams every night..." Harry whispered, starting to cry as he looked into Louis' worried eyes.

"I know darling. But you're safe here with me, I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you." Louis told him, reaching to tuck Harry's long curls behind his ears and out of his face.

"I-I wish I could just move on with my life..." Harry mumbled, breaking down because he really wanted to live a better life. So far that wasn't going like he planned.

"Babydoll..." Louis mumbled, kissing his cheek as Harry cried. "You're gonna move on, it's just gonna be hard because you've had a lot of built up trauma because of Liam. You can't just magically get over it...it's a marathon not a sprint, remember that."

Harry just sniffled in response, eventually giving a tiny nod. "Okay..." Harry whispered looking up at Louis sadly as they cuddled so close together.

"Why don't we try and sleep okay? So we can be ready for when our little darling wakes up tomorrow." Louis smiled sadly, grabbing a tissue and wiping Harry's eyes. After that he pressed a gentle kiss to his lips and wrapped his arms around him.

"Love you..." Harry whispered, cuddling so close to Louis and shutting his eyes. "Love you too" Louis whispered back and then they tried to fall back to sleep.

•
The next morning Louis got up early with the baby, wanting to leave Harry to sleep since he'd been having such a hard time with it.

He fed Everleigh, played with her and even started to make Harry a nice big breakfast. He wanted Harry to feel better and thought that food would be the solution for that.

"What are you doing?" Louis heard from behind him, so he turned around. Harry was standing there with his pjs still on, he was wearing one of Louis' hoodies and his hair was all messy. It was obvious he'd just woken up and Louis thought he looked so cozy.

"Just making some breakfast...I thought I would bring it to you in bed but that's okay." Louis told him, having just finished flipping the last pancake and he had already cooked some bacon and cut up some fresh fruit.

"You got up and fed Everleigh too? Thank you Lou...you're honestly the best..." Harry smiled, feeling so grateful that Louis was there for him like he was.

"Of course baby. Now why don't you go sit down? I'll bring your food to you." Louis told him, but that made Harry frown.

"I'm not really that hungry Lou..." Harry mumbled as he tucked a bit of his hair behind his ear nervously. He was having a really hard time eating lately, it was even worse now that all of this with Liam happened.

"Babe you barely at anything yesterday. Can you try and just eat breakfast?" Louis asked him, making a plate as Harry stood there watching and biting at his thumbnail nervously.

Harry was having such a hard time with food because of anxiety over Liam. He was stressed and upset and that caused his appetite to be pretty much nonexistent. Not to mention he felt like Louis would want him to be skinny and pretty so he didn't want to eat.

All of the things Liam had drilled in his head were just coming back to him, it was a response to all the trauma he'd gone through. It was making him very miserable and not want to eat.

"I just don't feel hungry...I really appreciate it though" Harry told him, seeing as he looked pretty disappointed.

"I think you should try a little bit. You may be surprised. You could just be hungry and you're not feeling it because you just woke up." Louis told him, really just wanting him to eat. "We can eat together, sit on the couch and drink coffee. We can have a proper little breakfast" Louis suggested.

Harry sighed, not really wanting to but he just nodded and went to the couch.

Louis brought him his plate and his coffee and Harry looked down at it with a bit of a frown. Louis then sat next to him with his own plate, Everleigh in her bouncer in front of them.

"How many calories do you think are in pancakes?" Harry asked after taking a sip of his black coffee.

"I dunno baby...but why does it matter?" Louis asked, already digging into his as he turned the tv on for some background noise.

"I just have a shoot tomorrow and I don't want to have a protruding stomach in lingerie." Harry mumbled as he took a tiny bite of the bacon, having to force himself fo even do that.

"Babydoll...you need to eat, two pancakes aren't going to make a difference in 24 hours. Is that why you said you're not hungry?" Louis asked, immediately feeling sad that Harry was feeling like this.

"Well I mean...kind of. But I'm just not hungry in general. I also don't want to gain weight yeah, I just don't want to get fat. Cuz then you'll think I'm ugly and then I'll get fired from my job." Harry ranted, starting to have a bit of a panic attack with all of this. His emotions were just everywhere and it was causing a lot of anxiety and trauma to boil to the surface.

"Darling shhh..." Louis said, putting his fork down and pulling Harry to his chest.

"Take some deep breaths with me okay?" Louis told him, feeling he was out of breath and now crying. Harry nodded, trying so hard to calm down but it wasn't working.

"Now look at me..." Louis said, holding Harry's face in his hands and looking him in the eyes. "You're not fat okay? Even if you were, I'm NEVER going to look at you any different. You'll still be my sexy, amazing, funny, kind boyfriend...I mean, I could go on forever describing why I love you. Your weight is not a part of that. I want you healthy, and I can bet that your company would rather have you healthy and able to work, than deathly skinny and unable to work..." Louis told him, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

Harry just cried in response, he was having a really hard mentally right now and that was more than understandable. "I'm sorry..." Harry whispered as he cried.

"Don't be sorry, you're really going through a rough time honey. But I do think you'll feel a little better if you ate a little something. Can you try for me? I know it's a hard day" Louis told him, wiping his tears with his thumbs.

Harry just nodded a little, actually meaning it this time. "Thank you for making me feel...well, just better. I really need you" Harry told him, leaning in for a hug.

"Aww baby...I need you too. Love you" Louis told him, squeezing him tight.

"Love you more..." Harry whispered with tiny sniffles.

Hey guys, I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thanks for reading.

-Violet💜