smoke breaks | proxies

ii.

There was something so strange about a Walmart when you're high off your ass. I stared blankly at the selection of chips while Natalie rambled quietly in the background. A country song played quietly in the background, practically drowned out by the sounds of other shoppers, but my eyes were set on my prize: a family-sized bag of Cheeto puffs.

The lights seemed blinding at the moment, and my only solace was the cheap sunglasses I had shoved on my face last second. With my face mask, I was practically incognito. Like a ninja.

I grabbed the bag of Cheetos, holding it in my hands and giving it a squeeze to see the air to chip ratio before nodding to myself, throwing it into the cart with a triumphant throw of my fist.

"Are you celebrating a bag of Cheetos right now," Natalie questioned, her own speech a bit slurred.

"No," I replied defensively. "I-I'm celebrating the a-act of getting Chee-Cheetos."

She blinked slowly at me before shrugging her shoulders. "Alright, I guess. Hey, Jane's coming over tomorrow, by the way, just so you know."

I rolled my eyes, grabbing a bag of tortilla chips and salsa. "S-sss-so, I need to be g-gone while you t-two kanoodle."

"Kanoodle?"

"Y'know, bu-bump uglies."

"Huh?"

I threw my hands out dramatically. "Sex!"

Natalie cackled, throwing her head back fully as she let out the bellowing laugh. "Oh! Toby, we're not going to be doing any of that, but I appreciate you being so willing to give our sex life some privacy."

"That's what you s-said las-st time, and th-then I had to listen to the tw-two of you go at it f-for four hours!"

She snickered to herself. "Rookie numbers."

"Rookie," I screeched, slapping a hand over my mouth right after once I realized I had yelled. A few people had turned to look at us but just as quickly looked away.

Natalie patted my back affectionately. "One day, young padawan, you shall learn of the greatness that is good sex. Too bad you're not a lesbian." She threw an insane amount of pasta sauce into our cart, another one of the few things we kept stocked consistently. "You'd be pretty as a girl, y'know."

"O-oh, Natalie being tra-trans-sss-sphobic now?"

"You know I don't mean it like that, you lil' shit." She turned, looking over my shoulder as we parked in the next aisle. "Don't make it obvious, but there is a total dilf-looking man at the end of the aisle. Your type."

I turned, glancing over my shoulder, and she was right. There was a man, most likely a few inches taller than me, standing at the end of the aisle, debating between two different ramen noodle brands – the expensive kind that was about six dollars for a bowl. He looked comfortable – the kind of man with both fat and muscle and hair all over, and he was in a t-shirt and sweatpants, and I wasn't sure about love at first sight, but I would definitely ride this man into tomorrow.

He turned, and if I hadn't know he had no idea I was looking at him because of my glasses, I probably would have cried from embarrassment. Still, he had turned, and his eyes fell on me, and I watched as he slowly checked me over, his gaze burning into my skin.

Then, he turned, choosing one of the ramens in his hand, and he left.

"What. Was. That?"

I turned at the sound of Natalie's voice, knowing I was surely bright red with how bad my face burned. "I-I th-think he was-sss checking me o-out?"