The Heart Thief

the heart thief - |11|

Roman

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           The important thing to remember was that Christmas would not be the only day for me to lose my shit. No, it came a little earlier than the day every member of my family shows up to the Christmas party because you know what they say about family and Christmas: things get a little crazier when everyone was in the same room. But time was a bitch, as were basic human functions. Why were we given all emotions and feelings but no way to control them? It was like buying a damaged item with no return receipt.

           My mind was filled with unresolved issues that were torturing me, and who was to blame? I could be a jerk and point my finger at Millie; after all, she was the reason I was going insane. The reason my knuckles were burning, but I knew I would do it again in a heartbeat. The thing about mistakes is that they are easy to repeat. Being around Millie made me realize I was going to do a lot more than I wanted to, like throw the first punch. I never do that. I never expected myself to do that, but it was primal instinct to protect someone I cared about, and it brought with it the urge to hurl myself under a car. My life had evolved from nightclubs and one-night stands to a clingy, jealous, and violent man.

Millie and I agreed not to discuss the incident at the club, and we agreed to tell Isaac a different story if he asked about my knuckles. To put it simply, I punched a wall by accident. It sounded like a lame excuse that would lead to more questions, but no one would ever know that I punched a guy to the ground and nearly knocked him out, and as long as my face didn't appear on camera and I didn't get sued by the victim. That was yet another source of concern. It wouldn't hurt to send someone to investigate, you know, clean up a messed-up situation before it spreads. What would my father say if his son got sued for punching a guy? My mother would go crazy. Blake would be disappointed. Isaac and Shane would probably have a better understanding, but I wasn't ready to dive into the subject just yet.

           When I entered the house, I closed the door behind me and set my keys and wallet on the table. The lights were switched on. The house smells like food, and noises were coming from the living room. It was nine o'clock at night, and my mind and heart were aching and tender. The best part of today, aside from making a fool of myself to impress Millie, was spending the rest of the day with her. I didn't even pretend to have fun. I had fun. Spending time with her was near the top of my list of things to look forward to. If I had to choose between spending a day with her and jerking off to someone's picture when I didn't feel like going out, I'd choose the former. It was also noticeable that I haven't been to a club ever since I met her.

           Isaac and Shane huddled over the coffee table, bags of chips and popcorn on the table, and empty beer cans on the side. Both men were glued to the tv as they played a video game. I shook my head. All Isaac had done since we came to New York was game, parties, and women. At least, for Shane, he knew to go to work the next morning. For Isaac, it was FaceTime and voice calls with his sister or his old assistant when something she couldn't handle at the hotel came up, but I was no one to complain about his life when I hadn't figured out mine.

           Shane was the first to notice me, even though he didn't look up. "There you are," he said, slapping Isaac's hand as he tried to swat the controller from his grasp. "Where have you been?"

           It's as if he opened a floodgate because I found myself plopping down on the chair, leaning back to rest my head. "Out," I mumbled a reply.

           Isaac finally took notice of me, casting a glance my way. "Have you spent all day with Millie?"

           "What?" Shane asked abruptly with a glance, which caused him to be shot in the game because he was staring at me. "You spent the entire day with Millie?" His dark brow furrowed with interest.