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Cover: 3/5 - The image is intriguing but doesn't connect easily to the plotline, which makes it less effective than it potentially could be. The author's name is also nearly cropped out of the photo and the subtitle is incredibly difficult to read, even when the photo has been enlarged fully. I can just about make out the words (most of them) by squinting, but unless they already know what it says, most readers aren't going to be able to easily read it. Maybe make it a little bigger?
Title: 4/5 - The title connects well to the plotline of the book and is also easy to know/remember. It is the title of a lot of books, which deducts points in terms of originality, but it does the job, which is what a good title should do.
Blurb: 3/5 - Lots of missing commas and full-stops, which make the blurb difficult to understand in places and also prevent it from looking professional. It does, however, sum up the plotline reasonably well and set out the conflict for the novel.
Hook: 1/5 - The book starts with the line "I woke up to something", which is a little vague for an opening and builds false tension that maybe something is wrong, when it actually turns out to be the sounds of the main character's roommates getting ready. The fact that the main character is shown to wake up and follow their normal routine at the start of the book is also cliched and doesn't link much to the plotline or the genre. I wouldn't be able to tell that this is a fantasy book from reading the opening chapter. There is a slight hint of fantasy with the interesting coincidence that all the characters in the room are turning eighteen at the same time, but as this isn't explored any further for the time being, I'm left wondering what exactly is going on. Were they all born on the same day - if so, why? This is a much larger detail in the plotline than the fact that the main character is getting dressed, so I'd advise the author to focus on it a little more. Later on in the chapter, demons are introduced but not described in any way. The reader doesn't quite know what to picture - are the demons the villains? Are they guards of some kind? The setting is introduced to be a form of boarding school with the patronage of the king, and a woman named Ms Lacy is involved, although I'm not sure whether she is supposed to be the head or some form of teacher. The fact that they are all born on the same day begins to be touched on towards the middle of the chapter, which sounds like an interesting plot point.
Narration: 2/5 - the POV of the main character is consistent, although we don't learn her name until chapter four, when the king points at her and asks her to tell him her name. Things are generally described to some extent, but not always enough to picture things in detail.
