Heal These Battle Scars | MxM

Chapter Twenty-Nine - Rain & Cigarettes

Xiao Fang loved rain; the gloomy weather reminded him of simpler times in Chongqing. It reminded him of times when he often walked home alone in the pouring shower after a late-night shift from the hospital, not a care in the world. He liked reading whenever it rained too, envisioning life as a character. And despite the rain often making him sick; he also liked bathing in it whenever he felt troubled, hoping all his worries might wash away. It never washed away... But he never stopped doing it either. All in all, he liked the rain. However, as rain poured down today, hammering against the rooftops like thunder, Xiao Fang could not explain this newfound feeling; but he knew he didn't like the rain this time. He couldn't understand why... He just didn't like it. He didn't like the smell of it; sour — like a freshly squeezed lemon. He didn't like the fat drops knocking on the window panels, seemingly begging him to be let inside the dorm room where it was warm, yet not comforting.

It was the fourth day since the young Commander Yi left to visit his father back in Kunming to discuss issues with the Japanese. He should return in three days' time, maybe four or five. When he comes back, Xiao Fang hoped to make love to him.

It seemed his heart missed the younger man dearly; more than he would like to imagine.

While Xiao Fang gazed out the window of Yi's doom room, smiling at himself at the thought of his lover returning, bringing him a big boutique of sunflowers to brighten the colorless walls of these barracks, deep down he couldn't ignore this strange voice whispering to him, telling him; someday they would have to part ways. Go on different journeys, walk different paths — meet new people, new lovers... Someday they would become strangers again.

It was the most harrowing feeling to experience, so Xiao Fang buried it where he could not find it and continued staring mindlessly out the window, trying to spot the mountains through the heavy raindrops.

Suddenly, a noise caught his attention. It wasn't the sound of bombs or bullets or men shouting. It was the rattling sound of engines roaring, the ground waking.

When he looked down at the dirt track, his heart seemed to skip ten beats before he pranced through the room, running outside and racing downstairs at the sight of his lover's military trucks. And though he couldn't quite understand why Yi came back earlier than expected, the only thing that mattered was his darling Yi's return.

The minute he reached downstairs, the military trucks were already in the compound. "Yi!" he shouted despite the soldiers walking about; his eyes gleaming at the silhouette of his young lover in the front seat of the second truck. "Yi!"

By now, the soldiers were familiar with Xiao Fang's closeness to their young commander. None of them voiced any concerns though since Yi became exceptionally lenient on them; his thoughts and time were always on Xiao Fang, the enemy soldier who healed their open wounds whenever they were injured.

Yi had a frown on his face, his jaw squeezed in an awful tightness; oblivious of Xiao Fang approaching. He missed this entirely though; he smiled brightly — all teeth.

"Yi!" He jumped in front of Yi as soon as the young commander stepped foot on the ground; his face puffy and pale as though he must've shed plenty of tears or hadn't slept a wink all night. "You're back early... Yi?"

Yi looked at him with emptiness in his eyes.

The time seemed to slow down or stop entirely for a split second while Xiao Fang waited for his lover to melt his heart with smiles or bless his ears with words. None of that happened though. Yi simply walked past him — like he'd been invisible, his shoulder brushing Xiao Fang's in a quick embrace, and his smile faltered, dying away.

Xiao Fang was left baffled, a strange conflicting thought crossed his mind, and he was left to question what had gone wrong during his young lover's visit. And when he looked over his shoulder, watching Yi walking to the barracks; the air stilled itself in his lungs, and it felt hard to breathe; a part of him dreaded to know the answer.