Sex, Love, and Other Mishaps

Chapter 12

Alicia choked back a sob, and cradled herself tighter. Losing a child affected her whole being, and made it hard to breathe. It was worse now that Dex knew. Life couldn't be any worse. And Blair. Poor sweet innocent Blair. She didn't know half of what went on in Alicia's life. And Alicia liked it that way.

"You gonna be okay?" A voice from above shattered her consciousness.

"I'll be fine, Jon-Jon. It'll take me a while to heal. If you'll excuse me, I need to stalk some people on my laptop."

Johnny smiled, and kissed Alicia on the forehead. "I'll be right downstairs. Love ya!" And he went down the stairs, and cursed each step on the way down.

Alicia pulled out her Mac, and started typing. She logged on to her email, and smiled when she saw a cute email from her friend Dawn.

"Have a super sunshine-filled day! Dawn." Yeah, right. If only that could happen.

Alicia slumped back on the pillow, and tugged her too-small bra back up to cover her breasts. It hurt her core each time to sit up or move over. Her insides still needed to heal, and so did her heart.

Johnny came in the room, and his eyes immediately zeroed in on her breasts, which were falling out of her lace bra. "Still feeling bad?"

Alicia sighed. "Yes, I still feel bad. It's not gonna go away over night. It's not gonna go away for at least a week. Can... can you do me a giant favor?"

Johnny's eyes widened. Alicia never asked anyone for a favor. Ever.

"Sure, love. What do you need?"

"I need you to get in bed, and hold me. I need to feel like someone loves me and actually gives a shit about my feelings."

Johnny nodded slightly, and went over to the right side of Alicia's queen-sized bed. He slid in between the cotton sheets, and was immediately grabbed on to. He relished the feeling of her arms encircling his waist, and he loved the way she needed him.

Alicia grabbed on, and started shaking slightly. And then more, as tears started pouring out of her. And with each tear, her heart broke a little bit more. But with each tear, Johnny's arms closed tighter around her, and she knew that at least Johnny loved her.

Soon she drifted off to sleep.

A door slammed, and it knocked Alicia out of her slumber.

"Alicia? You home?" A manly voice called from downstairs, and she sat up straight.

"Johnny! Johnny!" Alicia's voice, still husky with sleep, grated in Johnny's ear urgently.

Oh, fine. Alicia took her arms, and shoved him off the bed, and kicked him under it.

"What the hell?" A muffled voice came from beneath the bed.

"Johnny, shut up and stay down there. Don't get out until I tell you to."

As soon as she said that, Dex's rugged face popped around the door.

"Hey Leesh. You feeling slightly better?"

Dex's face popped around the corner, and in his eyes, a trace of lust grew. Alicia noticed, and felt very exposed in her bra and underwear.

"Um... I'll get you a sweater." Dex mumbled, and walked to her closet.

"Hey, Dex? Are we ever gonna talk about what happened?"

Dex paused, and turned around. A gaze of hurt fell over his face, but was soon replaced by one of anger.

"Talk? You want to talk? About what, exactly? Talk about the fact that I came to your room, after hearing a hysterical phone call, and see you with a dead fetus at your feet and blood seeping out of you? And then you just looked at me, and said ever so vacantly, that it's your child? Our child? How am I supposed to react to that?"

Alicia stood up,and didn't care about her state of near-nakedness. Her timidness was replaced by her pride, and her pride could not stand being hurt. She completely forgot about Johnny being there.

"Yes. Let's talk about that. It happened. I lost the damn baby. How do you think I feel? A child was growing inside of me, and I lost the child! Am I supposed to just let it go, and start having sex again? Just live my life. NO! I need to mourn the loss of my daughter! It was my child, and I loved her!"

A heavy silence pierced the air.

"A daughter?" Dex's voice was filled with agony, and his voice broke as he looked at Alicia.

"Yes, a daughter. Now are you going to call me heartless?"

"Yes. I am. You heartless bitch. It was OUR daughter. No one else's. OUR DAUGHTER! And you want me to just ignore the fact that you LOST HER?!

"Lots of women lose their first child. It's normal. And stop being so damn self-righteous. I have to tell Johnny. And Blair. And my mother and sister and friend. I lost a baby, and you can't even fathom the hurt that I am feeling. Get out of my life, and stay away!"

Dex's voice growled, and his heart broke in two. "I'd gladly stay away from a whore like you."

"Newsflash, darling. You were the 3rd guy I've ever slept with. It's only bee three my entire life. I may flirt, yes. I may tease, yes. But I am not a whore. Men do not pay me for sex. And if you wanted me to be one, just get over it. Go fuck your secretary, I'm sure you haven't done that yet. Oh wait, YOU HAVE!" Alicia's voice was breaking, and her throat was burning from the friction of her vocal chords rubbing together.

Dex paused. "How do you know that?"

"Oh, I didn't. I just said that to piss you off. Wait. You have? God damn, do you have no morals? Scratch that, I don't care. Get the fuck away from me, and out of my life!"

"Willingly." And Dex turned to go. But before he did, Alicia grabbed his arm.

"What the he-." A hand slipped towards his face, and slapped him. The ring on Alicia's hand cut his face, and she snickered at the sight of his pain and embarrassment.

"That's for insulting me. And my child. Now leave." 

And he did.

"Alicia? What the hell was that?" Johnny crawled out from underneath the bed, and stared at her in shock.

"That was me, getting rid of one of the worst things that ever happened. And you know what? I don't care about him. All I care about is you. And I love you, Johnny. I always have. I don't care if you know, or if the whole damn world knows. I do, and I hope you remember this."

Johnny leapt over the bed, and grabbed Alicia, holding her close. "I love you too. So much."

And with that, he kissed her, and when he was done kissing her, he held her close and cried with her. But this time, they were happy tears falling.