💮͓̽His Mistress💮

Fading Between Two Worlds.

The car ride was silent, the night outside growing darker as I stared out the window, lost in my thoughts.

I couldn't help but wonder why it wasn't Nikolai I wanted. He checked all the boxes—he was perfect, really.

So why was my heart so consumed with a man who didn't belong to me?

Raul D'Amano. He was everything I wanted, everything I craved, but there was one thing that disqualified him—the ring on his finger.

Raul was married, and I wasn't about to be that woman. I wasn't a homewrecker. I wasn't some mistress in the shadows.

But deep down, I couldn't shake this longing for him. I couldn't forget the way my body responded to him.

The way my heart raced every time he was near, even though I knew I shouldn't feel this way.

Growing up, life was never kind to me. Despite being the daughter of a rich man, I never got the privilege of living a "princess" life.

My father left us to be with another family, leaving us with nothing but an empty house in Malibu. He was a cheater, and I guess I inherited that same flaw from him.

I just hoped Luca wouldn't have to face the same heartache I did, the same confusion.

I never had anyone to talk to about this kind of dilemma. My mom? I couldn't tell her—especially not now.

I had already hidden one huge secret from her when I chose to strip, and now I had to hide these feelings I had for a married man.

This was the kind of situation that could ruin my relationship with my family. If my mom found out, I was sure I'd be disowned. Or worse, sent away to a convent.

It's against everything I believe to be the "other woman" in someone's life. But sometimes life throws you a card you didn't ask for, and you either play along or fold.

I never fought back against what life handed me. Why should I now? I wasn't going to change who I was just because it didn't fit into some moral box.

I felt guilty, though. Guilt gnawed at me every time I thought about it. But at the same time, the desire, the ache for Raul, made it hard to care about the consequences.

I'm sorry, Catalina. I'm sorry, Mom. And I'm most sorry, Lord, but this is the life I've been given.

This past week, I threw myself into every moment with Nikolai, hoping—just hoping—that maybe, just maybe, I could forget about Raul. But it didn't work, Raul haunted every corner of my mind, consuming me in ways I couldn't escape.

For once, I had to stop worrying about what others would think of me. I had to focus on what I wanted. And right now, I wanted Raul D'Amano.

This might make me a sinner. But maybe I was born to be one. I didn't care. I'd be a sinner if it meant having him.

The thought was both exhilarating and terrifying. But I couldn't stop the truth from surfacing.

"Angel," Nikolai's voice pulled me from my spiraling thoughts. His hand lightly tapped my thigh, and I blinked, focusing on him.

I hadn't even realized I had been lost in my mind for so long. I slowly turned my gaze away from the window to meet his concerned eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his voice soft.

I forced a smile, trying to act like everything was fine, though my mind was still miles away.

"Just thinking about something," I mumbled, avoiding his gaze as I looked around and realized we had arrived at the hotel.

"Oh, we're here already?" I couldn't help but feel relieved—anything to get out of the car and escape my own conflicted feelings.

"Thank you so much, Nikolai," I added as I unbuckled my seatbelt and reached for the door handle.

He didn't answer immediately. Instead, he glanced at me, his brow furrowing slightly.

"So, would you like to go out one last time tomorrow?" He asked, his tone light, but I could sense the underlying hope in his voice.

I bit my bottom lip, hesitating. I didn't want to hurt him. He'd been nothing but kind, but I couldn't ignore the way my heart tugged in a different direction.

"I'm sorry, Nikolai, I can't." I offered him a soft smile, trying to soften the rejection. "I'll be busy tomorrow."

His brows knit together in confusion.

"Sunday is always a good day to go out. And this is the second Sunday you've turned me down with the same excuse."

I sighed, feeling guilty for turning him down again.

"I spend every Sunday with my mother and my brother, Luca." I explained quietly.

Understanding crossed his face, and he nodded slowly.

"Why didn't you tell me before, Angel? I would've gone with you."

I shook my head with a small smile, feeling a pang of guilt for not telling him sooner.

"No, it's fine, Nikolai. You don't have to come with me. I don't want my mom to get the wrong idea. After I spend the day with her, I always spend the evening with Luca."

There was a brief moment where something flickered in his eyes—something I couldn't quite place—but it was gone almost as quickly as it appeared.

He nodded stiffly, and I knew there was no more to be said.

I opened the door, stepped out of the car, and felt the cold night air hit me like a slap in the face.

My mind, though, was still consumed with one thing—and one person.

Raul.