5 Months later
Alex POV
Why do I feel like this again? Bakit feeling ko parang bumabalik na naman yung mga dating lungkot ko. The depress and anxious me is back again. Crying in the middle of the night or in my sleep. Di na naman makatulog sa gabi and overthinking a lot of stuff. I don't know what is happening to me but I don't want to go back to that phase again.
"Alex? Patanong ni boss kung okay ka lang ba daw?" Ilang beses ka na daw nag call in eh. Are you okay baby girl?"tanong ni Jade saken while I'm laying down in my bed, under the blankets and spacing out.
"Yeah, I'm okay" sagot ko lang sa kanya. "sigurado ka? Do you need something?" tanong niya ulit "no I'm good, thank you" I said being polite. "Are you sick?" tanong ulit niya. I didnt answer Jade yet because I dont even know what I'm feeling right now.
Am I sick? This is an illness, right? Sasabihin ko bang I'm getting depress and anxious again? Parang I just kind of want to deal with it on my own right now. Ayaw ko na silang abalahin sa kung ano man yung nararamdaman o pinag dadaanan ko ngayon.
Di ko na nasagot yung huling tanong ni Jade, "let me know na lang if you need anything" sabi niya and he left.
I uncovered myself with the blankets and took a deep deep breath. Di ko na talaga alam nangyayari saken, akala ko tapos na ako sa ganitong sitwasyon.
______________________________
"Hey Alex, kamusta na pakiramdam mo?" Aiden asked, he was leaning on the door frame of my room. I didn't feel like talking, I looked at him and just smiled, yung ngiting napipilitan. "Alam mo namang pwede mo akong kausapin diba?"sabi niya.
"I'm always here naman for you eh, no matter what"mdagdag niya pa. "Yeah, thank you" yun lang yung lumabas sa bibig ko. I felt like crying again. "Do you wanna talk about it?" tanong niya. "No, Im okay. Gusto ko lang mapag-isa right now." Sabi ko naman sa kanya, I covered my myself with a blanket once again.
Aiden left and closed the door behind him. Naririnig ko pa rin silang nag uusap ni Jade sa labas ng kwarto ko.
"ano? Nakausap mo ba?" tanong ni Jade. "medyo, ayaw niya pa din pag usapan kung ano ba talaga problema niya." sagot naman ni Aiden.
I heard Jade sighed deeply, na-kwento ni Jade kay Aiden yung nangyare saken years ago when I broke up with Ace. I feel like breaking down nung narinig ko yung kwento ni Jade, naalala ko na naman yung masasamang memory.
Pero thats good na sinabi niya kay Aiden, atleast maintindihan niya kung bakit ako ganito, when I can't even explain myself to him. Masama bang maging selfish? Yung gusto ko na lang muna mapag isa? Hindi naman diba?
__________________________
"Alex, I dont know why you're shutting everybody out, we are here to help you. Please let us help you?" katok ni Aiden sa pinto ko, Di ko pa rin siya pinapansin.
"Alex, please?" makaawa niya pa din.
"ano? Ayaw niya pa rin talaga umimik?" rinig kong tanong ni Jade. "Ayaw eh" sabi naman ni Aiden.
"Si Ashley ba pupunta dito?" tanong ni Aiden. "Oo daw, she'll fly tomorrow na and stay for a while." Sagot ni Jade.
POV
Ashley flew to Alberta para kausapin si Alex, sabi ni Jade at Aiden kahit anong gawin daw nila ay ganun pa rin ang sitwasyon ni Alex.
Nung makarating na si Ashley sa apartment nila Jade, ay agad siyang pumunta sa kwarto si Alex. "Alex! Oi ano ba nangyayari sayo?" tanong nito. Bigla na lang tumulo yung mga luha ni Alex at niyakap na lamang ito ni Ashley.
"sige lang beshie, iyak mo lang yan. Ilabas mo lang kung ano man yung nararamdaman mo, take your time; you can talk to me, okay?" sabi ni Ashley. Hinayaan lang nila umiyak si Alex hanggang sa tumahan siya nang kusa.
Pagkatapos nang ilang minuto na tumigil si Alex kakaiyak ay kinausap ulit siya ni Ashley. Jade and Aiden are waiting in the living room para maka pag usap si Alex at Ashley.
"Are you feeling better now?" tanong ni Ashley. "a little" maikling sagot ni Alex. "What happened ba?" Ashley asked. "Di ko din kase alam eh, I don't even know what triggered it. Bigla na lang ako nalungkot." Alex sigh.
"Stress ka ba sa work, are you pressured with anything?" napaisip si Alex sa tanong ni Ashley. Tumingin lang si Alex kay Ashley, she didn't know how to answer her question. Pressured nga ba siya by something?
"Pero parang wala naman kaseng ikaka-pressure" sabi ni Alex. "What about your relationship with Aiden?" tanong naman ni Ashley. "Baka napre-pressure ka sa magiging future niyo, or baka inuunahan mo na naman nang di maganda kung ano man mang-yari in the future." Tingin ni Ashley kay Alex.
"Di ko din talaga alam eh" sagot ni Alex.
____________________________________
The day came when Alex situation got worst, she shut down everyone around her and didn't talk to anyone. Nag paka layo-layo muna si Alex sa lahat; sa trabaho, kay Jade at kay Aiden. Di nila alam yung rason kung bakit niya ginagawa ito.
Bago umalis si Alex ay nag-iwan siya nang sulat para kay Aiden, she broke up with him because of what is happening to her. He didn't want Aiden to feel the burden she's carrying; Aiden tried his best to hold on to Alex but she already made up her mind.
Gusto man Samahan ni Aiden si Alex sa lahat nang pinag dadaanan niya pero ayaw pumayag ni Alex, she keeps pushing him away.
Even her family doesn't know what's going on with her, kase hindi naman daw siya nag sasabi sa kanila.
Alex went out of the country to clear her mind, para maka-pag isip-isip siya nang payapa. Yung walang nang gugulo sa alone time niya.
Yung tipong walang tanong nang tanong kung okay lang ba siya, kase ganun at ganun pa din naman yung isasagot niya, okay lang ako kahit hindi naman.
She went MIA for months, walang paramdam; kahit text or tawag man lang sa pamilya or sa kaibigan wala. Di maiwasan ang pag-aalala nang mga ito sa kanya, dahil kahit anong contact nila kay Alex ay hindi niya ito sinasagot.
_________________________________
3 months later, Alex came back to Canada, she looks a little better and it looks like she got through everything. Di muna siya dumiretso nang Alberta, but instead, she went to home to her parents first.
Bumisita muna siya sa parents niya, to say sorry for what happened. Laking gulat nang parents niya nung makita siya at agad nilang niyakap nang mahigpit si Alex.
"Alex anak! Were so glad that you're okay! Where have you been all this time?" Tanong agad nang papa niya.
"Sorry po ma, pa kung ngayon lang po ulit ako nag paramdam. Sorry po kung di ko po sinabi sa inyo kung nasaan ako. Sorry po sa hindi pag update kung okay lang ba ako or kung buhay pa ba ako. Sorry po talaga"
Iyak ni ALaex sa mga magulang niya. "Alam mo namang andito lang kami para sayo diba? Handa naman kaming tulungan ka sa kung ano mang problema meron ka." Sabi naman nang mama niya.
Tumango lang si Alex while crying in her parents arms. "it's okay anak, what's important is you're safe and well." Her dad said.
They broke the hug at pumasok na sila sa kanilang bahay, "kumain ka na ba? what do 'you want?" Her mom asked. "Ma, okay lang ako. I ate na po kanina before my flight" smile ni Alex. "Are you sure?" tanong naman ni papa niya. Once again tumango lang si Alex.
Alex told everything that happened to her while she was out of the country. Na-kwento niya kung ano pinag kaka- abalahan niya, kung siya nag travel at iba pa.
Pinuntahan niya na din si Ashley, to let her know na nakabalik na siya nang Canada. They caught up with each other and na kwento din lahat ni Alex sa kanya yung mga ganap sa buhay niya within those 3 months.
