Rebellious Love

[22]

He left the room where he settled me, I was on edge for whatever reason it is. Kasi baka ginagawa niya lang to dahil feeling niya obligated siya gawin yun. I stood up from my seat and walk towards the kitchen where I saw him wearing an apron on top of his white shirt and blue jeans outfit.

I wanted to talk to him about us, this... This pregnancy! Overthink na kung overthink but I didn't want to assume anything unless stated. Where it comes from him.

Clearly, we both aren't ready for this big event in our lives. Parehas pa kaming nag aaral at may image siya, kaya ko ba sirain ng lahat ng yun dahil dito?

"Do you need something?" Nag tataka niyang tanong habang priniprepare yung ingredients sa pag luluto. "Can you stop on whatever it is you're doing?" Tanong ko na kinakabahan, hindi ko alam bakit pero natatakot ako. I mean we slightly talked about the thing but not really the deep talking.

"Why baby did your cravings change? You don't want fried chicken anymore?" He asked worried, maybe because that's the only thing he can cook from his fridge. "I'm full naman na, it's just I want to talk to you." Takot kong sabi at lumapit naman siya. "About what, my princess?" Jeez, he needs to stop that. Rumurupok ako kapag naririnig ko yung call sign niya for me ehh.. "Trixie, what is it?"

"Honestly, I'm thinking that you're only doing this dahil nadisgrasya mo ako... And I'm not sure if you or me, are ready for this big responsibility." I stopped talking to look at his reaction but his giving me a cold stare. "Wow, Trixie! I can't believe you think of me as that type of guy. Oo, nabuntis kita. But what I'm doing is genuine." Umiling ako sa takot.

"Why are you not believing me ba? Is it because of Dave?" He madly asked me, and I just nodded somehow. Paano nga if malaman niya na binuntis ako ng gagong to. "Fuck forget it. I hate competing with that guy. Everytime, everytime I show you how I fucking love you. You still end up obsessing with that guy. Ano ba meron sa lalaking yun? Nagseselos na ako ahh." He said removing his apron.

"I was there to buy you sanitary pads, to buy your cravings. To drop you off wherever you want to go, kasama mo ako. Kasi ano, asan siya. He doesn't want to do those things to you. Ako lang nandun sa tabi mo nung mga oras na kailangan mo siya." My gut is punching me right now because of how hurtful hearing those words from him. "Kung gusto mo siya, then I am not for you." Dagdag pa nito na inilingan ko ka agad. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero tumutulo na luha namin dalawa. "You're leaving me as well?" I asked.

Tumango naman siya, at tumingin sa akin ng malalim. "Sa ginagawa mong iyan, lahat ng tao sa paligid mo aalis. Tinataboy mo palayo lahat ehh." He was about to walk pero I stopped him from doing so. "Tyler..." I said, not finishing because I had no idea what to say.

"Alam mo Trixie, being smart academically you're so stupid with this." He said, sabay hinila din niya ako papunta sa sala. Pinaupo niya ako doon sa sofa at tumabi naman siya sa akin. Tahimik lang kami ako nag iisip-isip habang siya nag cellphone. I'm still crying silently, ewan bakit niya ako pinaupo. Kaya umalis ako sa kinauupuan ko at pumunta sa kitchen at tinutuloy ang ginagawa niya kanina, yung fried chicken.

He saw me doing it and sighed loudly, napakamot pa nga siya sa ulo. Pero he just let me do it, parang ayaw na niya i-stressin sarili niya. Good thing na rin para makapag isip isip kaming dalawa. How sure am I that he likes me? Well, he just admitted it earlier. May point naman siya, so bakit nga ba ako obsessed kay Dave?

"Holy shit, Trixie!" I heard him shouting and moving me away from the stove, tangina ang tanga ko nasunog ko na pala piniprito ko. "You, okay? Is the baby fine?" Lumuhod pa siya at tinignan yung tummy ko. "I think it's fine. Gutom pa nga ata kami." I said randomly to ease the awkwardness. He sighed again at hinila ako papuntang sala ulit, where he was fixing my hair. Apparently kanina ko pa ginugulo buhok ko sa sobrang stress, manirism siguro. And someone rang the doorbell, making us both shocked.

He opened the door and I saw a delivery guy giving him a paper bag. "Thank you po sir, sa tip. Eat well po" sabi pa nung manong. Sinara naman ni Tyler yung pintuan at tinignan ako na nakangiti. "Here, I just ordered from the store. Wala tayo sa matinong pag iisip para mag luto." He opened the paper bag revealing a dozen of sushi and dozens of fried chickens. Alam niya ata na kaya ko maubos yung chicken ehh. "I just ordered sushi 'cuz I am craving for it but if you want some you can eat it."

I started to munch on my food, like he did on his while watching an English Movie. "I want you to stay, hindi dahil takot ako mawala ka." I spoke while staring at the chickens. Tumawa naman siya kaya agad kong tinignan yung pinapanood niya pero umiiyak naman yung nasa TV.  "Thank god na-realize mo rin na ayaw mo ko mawala. Ang tagal kong hinintay to ahh." He said dropping the chopsticks on the plate.