I Failed You (DISCONTINUED)

First Love

If Kei asked me "So eonnie, who is your first love? Kai Oppa, Sehun Oppa or Myungsoo Oppa? Or even Doojun Oppa? Kekekekeke," she chuckled at her last mentioned name. I wanted to smack my little sister's head but i hold on. As Doojun Oppa was a mistake, I didn't know why I accepted his confession when i entered high school. Maybe i just scared because he was my senior and in student council so i had to accepted him. He's far from my type, I didn't feel the same feeling when i had with Myungsoo or even Sehun when with him but he made me pretty comfortable back then. We dated for months before i broke up with him.
"Guess who,"I challenged Kei.
"Myungsoo Oppa!! Because you cried like dying man when he left to his dormitory,"Kei answered in confidence.
"I read your diary when he sent you to home and caressed your hair, you wanted to cry. You wanted him to hug you right? You are naughty teenager,"she teased me.
"Ohhh come on. Haven't you felt like that with your first boyfriend? Ofc i wanted to cry and i cried when he left. I liked him!"i ruffled Kei's hair. She just pouted. Oh so cute~
"But you cried too when Sehun Oppa left. Both were almost same. You showed same sadness towards both of them. So who is your first love actually?"
"Sehun was my crush. My first crush. When i learned about liking a boy, he was the first boy i like. And Myungsoo, i liked him too. I treasured the moments when we were together. If talk about love, i guess it's Kai,"i smiled upon picturing my boyfriend's face on my mind.
"Ohh Kai Oppa? Is that different than when you like Sehun or Myungsoo Oppa?"
I nodded. Eventhough i felt that Sehun is still so special because why not? He's my first crush and i miss him so much. I want to know how is he doing now, i want to know where his school and his life like have he dated someone just like me? Oh crap, he did didn't he? With Son Naeun.
"Sehun remains be my first crush and there's always a place to remembering him. But Kai, he is different. I've never fallen to someone like this. If you asked who is my first love, i guess he's Kai,"
Kei pouted. Why?
"I wanted Sehun Oppa as your first love. You guys were cute,"with that, she grabbed her blanket and turned back to the left and start to close her eyes. I looked at the ceiling. Kei's words just made me confuse. I always feel that when I remember Sehun, my heart felt lonely as i miss him so much. I miss the old days. I always think he's one of my special guy. But when with Kai, and most of days that i've been through that Sehun rarely appeared on my mind, i always enjoyed being with Kai. My days are perfect. I have a good boyfriend, handsome and caring. And I don't want anyone else took his place, i want him as my last man.

***
He's my first love, my first kiss, my first serious relationship.
"What are you thinking about?"
I snapped out from my thoughts when Kai's face already in front of me. Gosh, can't be a less handsome? I feel like dying! Especially when he is smiling like this.
"Nothing, just some homework that teachers gave to us. Are you done with your friends?"i asked as he helped me to packed my things into my bag.
"Yes. Then where do you want to have lunch Sweetheart? Or do you want me to cook?"
"Heul~ that is so cute of you,"I ruffled his silky hair and he smiled sweetly. Gosh cant i just kiss him right now?! But this is at school, lol no.
"Let's go,"I grabbed his hands and heading motorcycle parking lot.
As i remembered, i never asked him to kiss me or vice versa. And we never unconsciously kissing at the parking lot. But the next day there was rumor at our school.
"This is not good Sulli. You guys will get detention!"Dasom looked at me with worried eyes.
"You guys really kissing?"asked Bora. Yes we did but in his house, sweetheart.
"No ofc not! Im not insane,"i rolled my eyes. I'm so tired today that from this morning people kept asking me or Kai whether the rumor wis right. We kissed at the parking lot. Heul am i that crazy? I know some private place, i'm not Hyorin who can easily kiss his boyfriend in front of people!
"It's about time that Mrs. Jinah will summon both of you to her room. She's so cocky about things like this,"
I know. But whoever started this rumor and mistaken when Kai ruffled my hair and just talking a little bit closer to my face as if he was kissing me was too rude. This is a big lie.
"It's ok, everything will be ok. I can explain to Mrs. Jinah, don't worry,"Kai being my sweet boy smiled gently at me. How can't i consider him as my love? He gave me this fluttering feeling, made me comfortable and made me want to keep him as mine forever.
"Thank you, Kai. No matter what will happen to us after this, promise me you will never leave me,"i asked to him as I am afraid that guy could easily give up if something happened to their relationship.
"I promise. I love you so much and you're so special. I've never felt this kind of feeling eventhough i ever liked someone,"he said sweetly.
"Ssstt...don't mention anyone else Kai. This is just two of us,"
Yes Kai, i feel the same way as what you feel. You're so special for me. Eventhough i ever liked someone elses back then, but this big feeling towards you is different.
He's my first love.

***
Me and Kai have been dating for more than three years from eleventh grade until now, when we entered college and already welcoming our second year. It was longer then i dated Myungsoo at middle school which was only 2 years and several months long.
Our colleges are in Seoul when our campus are in different location. But at least we're still together in a same city. The same city that Sehun lives too. At least, his house is here but he studies at Busan. Forget about Sehun because he's just my past and i have Kai beside me right now. Our relationship is going stronger as he's already so close with my family. And i always spend my times with Kai whenever i have time. I went to his apartment and he visited my house and playing UNO with my siblings in saturday night.
It was so perfect. My days with Kai were the best in my life. I love him so much you know? We went through so many things from high school. We cry, fight, make up, laugh, have fun and else during these three years. When we fought there's time that Kai cried to console me and asking me not to break up. When i got angry i do want to break up but seeing his face, his pleading eyes when he begged me to stay with him, ofc i'll fished out. I can't leave him too anyway, it just a short anger that made me wanted to break up. And note this, i really want him as my last love. My first and last love, getting married with him after we finished our college.
"So eonnie who is your first love actually? Kai Oppa?"everytime i had this talk about love with Kei, she always asked this question.
"Yes Kai. And he's my true love,"I answered gladly. Oh gosh! I'm so in love with him!
"But I thought Sehun was special. You guys were so cute,"she pouted.
"Are you our shipper? Yes, he's so special but in a different state. He's always be special as my first crush,"again, i told Kei like this. She nodded but seemed unsatisfied with my explanation.
"Sehun Oppa was so tall, handsome and cool. He liked to make fun of you but it was his charms. Plus, he's smart,"Kei explained. I smiled. But Kei, it was not about handsome, cool and smart again. When talk about love, it was who can make you comfortable, want to fight this love, want him as my last resort. And he's always be Kai.
He has been here beside me for years. When I have no idea how is Sehun doing right now. I bet he already found his true love too like me. There's time when I tried to find about his whereabouts and yes, i found out from Chanyeol that he took college in Busan. But I didn't get any clue anymore like who is his girlfriend or whether his house is still in Seoul or moved to Busan as well. I have no idea and I don't want to find out more. If i ever find him again, the day will be a day when I choose to look at him as my ex crush, my ordinary friend. I wanted to start a new if we met again, i want to have a good friendship with him.
I thought so for so long. That my true, first love is Kai. And if i met Sehun again I won't waver.
Until the day i found his email.

TBC

A/n: Thank you for your support of this story. I really wrote this with all of my heart. This is based from a true story and i hope you guys can appreciate it more. So please give me your impression about this story :) (and pardon me if i had some grammatical errors and typos)