A Lost Ghost

Chapter 9: Sunset

   I struggle to keep my eyes open as I walk. I've checked my map and compass a dozen times to make sure I'm still heading towards Mongolia. I think I am, but I can't be one hundred percent sure. My head bobs up and down as I struggle to stay awake. My eyelids feel as if there's weights on them. My knees buckle beneath me as I step down. I grunt as my legs fall through the soft snow. I take in deep breaths, breathing in the frigid air. My heavy eyes fall shut, and I just stay there like that. On my knees in the snow with my eyes closed, still fighting with everything, I have to stay awake.

"You need to sleep," comes my mother's voice.

I can see myself back then. Back when I was a kid. After Mom and Dad split, I blamed myself, and through that, I became so depressed. I wouldn't sleep. I wouldn't eat. My whole world was falling apart. During the day, after a long night of no rest, I didn't want to sleep because I was so sure that if I did, Dad would come walking through the door, walking back into my life, and I was afraid that I would miss it. I would sit on the couch, watching the door, fighting the urge to sleep. My mother would sit beside me, throw a blanket around my shoulders, and whisper into my ear, "You need to sleep."

I swallow hard as I pull my heavy eyes open. The low-hanging sun attacks my fragile vision. I have put a lot of distance between me and the Russians. Besides, if I don't sleep now, I'm only gonna pass out later. Minus well do it now while I know I'm somewhat safe. A long breath escapes my body as I fall back onto my butt and lean up against a tree. I rest my elbow on my knee and rest my chin in my palm. I close my eyes, and it doesn't take long for sleep's sticky grip to swallow me whole. I don't dream. My body is just encased with the relaxing, dark solitude of sleep. I take in steady breaths and just sit in the quiet, my consciousness disappearing further and further into the ibis. A white light flashes behind my eyes. I see the gun that killed Akio. I see the bullet tear through his chest. I feel his hot blood seeping through my gloves.

"Run," Akio whispers. I flinch, yanking my eyes open and jolting back to consciousness. I hold my breath as my heart hammers against my ribs. I glance around. There's no one in sight. Behind me, though, I can hear the faint crunching of snow beneath someone's boots. I twist around. I see nothing but snow and trees. I hold my breath and listen carefully. My heart sinks as the faint sound of vehicles echoes in the distance. It doesn't even take a nanosecond to realize those vehicles are tanks and humvees. I leap up, charging down the mountainside. The heavy snow slows me down, feeling as if it were grabbing onto my legs to try and stop me. I push through it as hard as I possibly can. The growling of the tanks and humvees drives me, motivating me to keep running no matter how hard it is. The growling of the vehicles are like voices in my ears, motivating me to run faster. I don't dare look back to see how close they are. My lungs scream for air as I continue to run, my legs burning. Ahead of me is a break in the tree line. I can just make out the road on the other side of it. I have no idea what's on the other side of that road, but I don't care. It's a glimpse of a way out, and I'm gonna take it. An explosion of heat rips through my leg. I tumble to the ground and, a few seconds later, hear the echo of a gunshot. I cry out, not from pain but from the pure shock of it all.

I manage to look down at my leg. My heart freezes. I don't want to believe it. I don't until I peer into the bloody hole above my knee. The dark green fabric of my flight suit turns a sickly black as the blood soaks my pant leg. I let out a shaky breath, my lips parting.

Oh, man. Oh, no. No, no, no.

I can feel the blood rushing from my face. The growling of the tanks echoes throughout the air as they get closer. I whip around, seeing the tiny silhouettes of at least thirty soldiers on the top of the hill. I can't see the tanks yet, but it's obvious they're close. I groan as I dig my fingers into the snow, pushing myself up. I hobble on one leg, my eyes still set on the road. I gasp as my leg gives out. I buckle to my knees, rolling onto my back, gasping for air. I don't feel any pain yet, but I got a feeling that if I survive this pain and I would become very intimate. I swallow hard as I glance down at my leg again. My crimson blood soaks into the snow like the cherry flavor seeping into a snow cone. I glance behind me, seeing the trail of blood that I left. I can hear the soldiers shouting in Russian, getting closer and closer by the second. I grab my survival vest, reaching for my tourniquet.

My heart sinks as I remember. I used it on Akio. It's still on Akio. I lay there, unable to move or think, wondering if this is the end for me. Mom and Dad would wake up to knocking at their door. I can see it now. They'd see the Naval officers standing on their porches. Then they'd know that their only son died in the frozen Siberian forest. My lips quiver as my eyes flick to the sky, ablaze with the fire of the setting sun. I can hear Mom. I can see her standing on the deck like she used to do every night, watching the sunset. Watching as the orange ball of fire would disappear behind the faint green horizon.

"Get up, Miles," comes her voice, as soft and gentle as a falling snowflake. "The sun hasn't set yet."

I clench my teeth, digging my fingers into the freezing snow again. I can feel my hot blood pool around my leg. My brain is still in survival mode, enhancing my heartbeat, numbing my pain, and giving me the ability to run even with a bullet in my leg. I look behind me, seeing that the soldiers are still a good distance away. I take a sharp breath and grit my teeth as I leap up, running for the road again. I still feel nothing in my leg as I run, but I know it won't last long. I cut through the empty two-lane highway. A bullet tears through the asphalt beside me, coming only inches from my foot. I yank my arms up to cover my head. I make it to the other end of the road. I turn to see where the soldiers were. I expect them to be closer, but they're still the same distance away. As my foot hits the ground, I slip on ice. I crumple to my knees and tumble down the hill. I roll and roll, catching a glimpse of the sky and then seeing nothing but snow. Sky, snow, sky, snow, sky, snow. I groan as I finally land on my back. Frigid water seeps into the back of my flight suit.

I suck in a sharp breath as the cold tears through my back like a thousand knives. I bite my lip, grunting as the blistering pain in my leg finally starts to set in. It starts out faint, and then every so slightly grows. I whip my head to the side, seeing that most of my body is submerged in a creek, but that's not what catches my attention. To the right of me is a safe haven in the form of a gutter hidden in a snow mound. I roll onto my stomach and claw at the frozen mud beneath the water, dragging my heavy body into the gutter. The water is up to my waist as I sit and lean against the freezing concrete, trying to disappear into the darkness. The shouting of the soldiers comes closer. The ground shakes as the tanks and humvees move on the road above me. I can hear the snow crunch beneath their boots. They're all around me, all above me, closing in. My stiff fingers curl around the handle of my gun. I hold it up towards the entrance of the gutter. Even if they find me, they won't be able to get to me. When a soldier drops down, when he dips his head to look into the gutter, when he reaches in to drag me out, I'll be here, waiting, ready to pull the trigger without hesitation. It's me or them, and I will not hesitate to save myself. My finger shakes as I rest it on the trigger.

My eyes are laser-focused on the entrance, but keeping them open is getting harder and harder. Time seems to stretch out. What was probably only seconds feels like hours. The voices of the soldiers become nothing more than a distant hum. Black and blue spots blossom in my eyes, painting my vision. I can't breathe, but somehow, I don't feel panicked by it. I just feel tired. So...so tired. My eyes feel so heavy. Their voices disappear, but I can still see their flashlights and boots through the black spots in my eyes. I glance at my hand to see it still outstretched, but the gun is gone. It lays in the water beside me. I slowly pull my arms into my chest. My whole body shakes uncontrollably. I'm sweating, yet I'm so freaking cold. The kind of cold that burns. I fight against the ever-growing black spots that consume my vision, but it's a losing battle. My eyes close, and I can feel myself sinking into the black, cold abyss. I can feel myself floating in and out of consciousness.

The only sensation I can feel is the ice grabbing onto my skin. My frozen hair clings to my scalp, my helmet offering no heat source. My ice-encrusted eyelashes make my eyes feel that much heavier. At least the ice-cold water numbs the pain in my leg. Not only that, but it numbs my whole body. I can't feel a single thing after a while. I can't feel my frozen hair anymore. I can't even feel my eyelashes. I can see the white vapor from my breath lifting into the air, a sign to me that I'm still alive. Even though I'm not so sure despite the evidence in front of me. The last thing I remember is letting out a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, my voice so low and brittle that I can't even hear it. Either that, or my eardrums are frozen solid. "I'm sorry, Mom. I'm not coming home."