Guns and Bourbon-Arthur Morgan x Male Reader

Chapter III: What's love feel like?

"What's wrong?", he asked as he closed the door behind you, a shimmer of concern in his voice. You sat on his bed, nervously figetting with your hands.
"I felt", you hesitated,"I felt that we didn't really talk much after...the robbery." Arthur looked at you for a brief second before sitting down beside you. "I didn't mean anything by it", he said, glanching in your direction for a moment, before he continued . "It's just...I know it's stupid but I wish it didn't turn out this way." You furrowed your eyebrows in thought. "No, Arthur, it wasn't your fault, trust me."

For a moment the two of you were completely silent. Arthur sighed before flashing you a sympathetic smile and patting you on the back. "I'm sorry either way, kid."

The rest of the day you were busy doing the laundry, taking care of the horses and helping Pearson prepare the stew. The camp was bustling, everyone was there, and you knew Dutch had found another reason to celebrate.

Once finished with your chores, you decided to join the folk by the campfire. Javier grabbed a bottle and tossed it to you. You removed the cork and took in the scent of the liquor. The smell burned your nose and you squeezed your eyes shut. John nudged you, encouraging you to drink. You sighed and downed about half the bottle, before coughing. "Fucking hell! Remind me not to drink ever again, Javier!"

"So, of course, me da was not havin' any of it." You heard Sean faintly keep talking about his father, even though nobody was paying much attention to him. You glanced at Arthur, who was sitting just across you. The fire eluminated his face, framed his cheekbones. He looked stunning.

"Right, fellers, I better get some sleep. See ya tomorrow", you said standing up and stretching your limbs. You went to your room, got yourself ready for bed, took off your boots and chaps and layed down. But you couldn't fall asleep. The image of Arthur sitting by the fire kept you up. Seeing him made you feel something you couldn't quite lay your finger on.

"What's love feel like, Hosea?" Hosea looked up from his book, a surprised look on his face. "You know, I never thought I'd hear you ask that. Never seemed too fond of the ladies." You weren't. At least you thought you weren't. Women never really interested you, in that sense anyway.

 "But if you really wanna know", Hosea put his book down and thought for a moment, "Imagine a horse. Now, this horse, it's free, nothing's holding it back. But then a feller comes by. He catches and breaks this horse. The horse wants to be free again. It needs to be free again. That need, that desire, that's love." You furrowed you eyebrows. "I don't think I understand, Hosea." He chuckled. "I don't think I fully do either, kid. But what really matters is what love means to you."

You knew that what you felt towards Arthur, somebody who you had considered family for the past few years, was not something family would feel toward each other. That made you worry. It frightened you, even. But was it really love? Could two fellers be sweet on one another like a feller and a lady could? Giving thought to it, you smiled. Hoseas words replayed in your mind. "What really matters is what love means for you."
You've never had the thought, the need to be close to anyone before. But with Arthur it was different. 

Did you love him?