"Credit Card With Legs" A King Of The Hill fanfic

Chapter 2: "Supervised" Date

Bobby and Joseph returned home from school as normal. The two went to their houses for a while, except Joseph would be leaving for Alamoland that night. The Gribble house was quiet, lights turned off, curtains shut, and all the inside doors had been shut. "Dad?" Joseph called out, receiving no response. He began to walk down the hallway, heading straight for his bedroom. "DAD?!" He called one more time, raising his voice. This time, the doorknob started to shake, almost as if someone was locked in. Joseph then took one look and saw that Dale had accidentally locked himself in his son's room. So when Joseph unlocked the door, he was quickly yanked by the arm and pulled into his room.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" He yelled before noticing 2 suitcases were packed. "Oh....Thanks for packing the suitcases, dad. But I think Lori has her own suitcase to take." Joseph said. "Well, yeah. This vacation is for you and Lori..." Dale mused, pausing for a moment. Joseph raised an eyebrow on where his dad was going with this. "....And your SUPER COOL CHAPERONE!!!!" Joseph's eyes widened in horror, his face going pale. "I know right? I'll give you a rundown of ALL the basics you need to know about going on a first date." Dale explained before Joseph slowly got up off the ground. "T-This has to be some kind of mistake. I thought you said you had a bunch of assignments to do at work!" Joseph replied. "Well, son. That was one of the many elaborate excuses I've used over the years so I could try and spy on Hank during work hours." Dale then pulled out a cigarette and began to light it. "Plus....I don't trust this Lori girl. She's seems nice...A little TOO nice." He began to take that first puff while Joseph sighed deeply. "Well how are you gonna get a hotel room if you don't even have a ticket?" The boy asked, knowing full well that Dale did not have a ticket. "Well that's what the second suitcase is for, Joseph! Once we get to Alamoland, I'll just stuff myself inside and you can wheel me over to the hotel room. Simple as that." Dale explained. Joseph knew right then and there that Lori would NOT be pleased with these results.

Meanwhile, at the Hill residence, Hank and Bill were busy planning their own little trip to Alamoland. "I still don't see why you can't just let Dale be a parent, Hank." Peggy sighed, trying to focus on house bills. "You know how Dale is, Peggy. He'll probably do some idiotic stunt that'll cause him to get into trouble with security and Bill and I would have to come to the rescue....Again." Hank replied. "We tried to get Boomhaur to join us, but he has pretty much the same opinion as you." Bill added. "Hey, dad. Joseph is going to Alamoland and-" Bobby walked into the kitchen and spotted the tickets on the table. "Oh my God.... ARE WE GOING TO ALAMOLAND TOO?!" Bobby squealed, before Hank snatched the tickets. "Yes and no. Yes, we're going to Alamoland, but no. This is only a trip for me and Mr. Dautrieve." Hank explained. "But Hank. What about that third ticket we bought for Boomhaur?" Bill asked while Hank kept loudly shushing him. "There's no backing out now, Hank." Peggy warned. "If you don't take Bobby, he will spend the next few days talking my ear off about a list of 'what could have been.'" Hank shuddered and decided to give in for the sake of Peggy's sanity. "I'll go pack my bag!" Bobby squealed excitedly before dashing out of the kitchen. Hank gave Bill one of his famous death glares, causing his friend to cower. "Sorry, Hank." Bill said, hanging his head down.

Back at the Gribble residence, Joseph was busy venting to Bobby over the phone. "I don't get it, Bobby. I can understand my dad's paranoia about...I dunno... Space aliens running for President, but jumping to the conclusion that Lori is a horrible person? That's just low!" Joseph explained. Bobby, trying to play it cool and not tell Joseph about Hank's plan, listens to his friend's vent. To be fair, he even had his suspicions about Lori. "Joseph. I know you might not wanna hear this right now, but your dad probably wants what's best for you. And-" Bobby tried to explain before Joseph hung up on him. Not out of spite, surprisingly. But because Dale called to tell him it was time to leave. "Be right there, dad!" Joseph yelled from his bedroom. The boy then hopped off his bed, grabbed his suitcase, and headed for his dad's van. Dale sat in the driver's seat while his son packed his suitcase in the back. "MY son is going on his first date..." Dale lamented. "Time grows by so fast!" He then adjusted his car mirror and saw Joseph's reflection. "I mean what chick wouldn't want my son? He's a total stud just by appearance alone!" Dale then lit a cigarette as Joseph climbed into the passenger seat. "You ready, son?" Dale asked. Joseph simply looked at the ground, "Ready as I'll ever be..." He shrugged. "Not to worry, son. Your father has the BEST dating advice." Dale then drove off into the sunset, starting a few hour trip to Alamoland.

Hank slowly pulled his truck out while Bill hid in the trunk, sporting a pair of binoculars. He looked and saw Dale driving off. "There he is..." Bill whispered to himself before lowering his binoculars and giving a thumbs up to Hank. "It's go time..." Hank said as he started driving. Hilarity was surely about to ensue.