Coincidentally But Eternally Connected

Far From Heaven

During the drive back to Hope's home, she was curled into a tight ball in her seat and rocked back and forth for comfort. I chewed on my lip and gripped the steering wheel to prevent myself from asking any questions. Initially, I feared I had angered or upset her with my jealousy, so I refrained from touching her. But when I could take it no longer, I tentatively reached a hand in her direction. She latched onto it and put it against her face, which was wet with tears. I sighed in relief; whatever she wanted to tell me, it was not that I had done something wrong.

Yet I became more confused when we reached her house and she climbed out of the car without even looking at me. She walked toward the house alone, head facing the ground, and opened the front door. My nerves were frayed and I could not even begin to guess what she had in mind when she sat at the two-person table instead of the sofa, where we could be touching. I took a seat across from her and she stared at the table for several long moments, collecting her thoughts.

"I should have told you this before," she began, and my anxiety increased. "I swear, this isn't an intentional omission. It was at first, because you didn't know who I was, and I didn't want to risk transmitting information about who we really are over our devices. But then since we met, I've just been so happy, that I honestly forgot to mention it."

"Hope, please just say it, I am going mad with worry," I told her honestly. Her beautiful eyes flicked to mine, and she forced herself to hold my gaze for longer than usual.

"I sent my own number to Thomas. I spoofed Hannah's number so he would assume it came from her. It was the only way I could think of to involve myself in her search without revealing to them that I have skills like yours. And...I knew you had already contacted them because I have been intermittently monitoring your communications to keep you safe. I wanted to talk to you so badly, so I...inserted myself into the group, and then because I forgot to tell you, it looks like I purposely kept it from you until now. I'm sorry." She looked away, and her composure crumbled when I failed to respond to her admission. Hope put her face in her hands and sobbed with heartbreaking despair.

I swiftly stood and then pulled her chair back from the table with her in it. I lifted her into my arms, hearing her intake of breath, and walked over to the sofa with her, placing her on my lap. I stroked her hair and kissed her forehead, then settled my arms around her body, caging her against me.

"Did you think I would be angry?" I questioned. "Because I am not. The choices you made were sensible for the circumstances. Of course, I would have preferred to know immediately that you sent Thomas your number, but it matters little in the course of our investigation, based on the information we already have. Moreover, I love you. Something as minor as this would not change my feelings."

"Thank you for understanding," she whispered. "I was so worried. I know how hard it is for you to trust anyone, and I was terrified I had broken your trust with my neglectfulness. I don't want to lose you--I can't lose you again." She turned her face to mine, and I tasted the salt from her tears as I kissed her. Tension fled both of our bodies as we lost ourselves in the kiss for several minutes.

"I don't want to lose you again, either," I affirmed when our lips parted. "I have grown accustomed to what we have in such a short time. I did not realize how much I would like it, or how much I could grow to need you. I will do everything in my power to protect what we have." I sighed. "However, I sense that this was not the only thing you wished to discuss. Am I correct?"

"You are," she agreed. "We also need to talk about Richy." I frowned, and she gently smoothed my face with her hand. "I know I didn't respond to what you said in the car, but I want to reassure you that there's nothing going on between us. Richy is my friend, and nothing else. I care about him a lot but in a platonic way. I'm in love with you and only you." I relaxed marginally, anticipating more was to come. "I was able to tolerate his touch, and Jessy's, because of that empathy that the CIA disparaged so much. I can feel their care for me, and it makes it less painful to give and receive physical affection from them. But please don't mistake that as a sign that I have any interest beyond friendship with them or anyone else." My muscles unclenched the rest of the way at her acknowledgment, and the corners of her mouth upturned slightly as she felt me relax underneath her.