Same Game: Different Devils - Katya Zamolodchikova x Reader

Chapter Ten

To say Trixie's message was jarring would be an immense understatement, and the guilt surrounding it would be an understatement. You did not regret your time with Brian, nor did you feel bad about it, however, after Trixie had helped you out of the goodness of his heart, you couldn't help, but wonder if disrespecting his and David's wishes and sleeping with Brian was a direct show of disrespect towards the couple you were so glad to call your friends.

Now, obviously you had not intended to 'go against their wishes', you did not really feel like they had a say in who yourself or Brian slept with, but despite this, the both of them only had your best interest and heart and the nagging feeling that you were disappointing them was one heavy on your mind.

You clutched your phone, taking another deep drag of your cigarette before bringing yourself to your feet and walking back upstairs to meet Brian.

As you ascended the stairs, a warm feeling began to bloom in your chest. The intimacy of everything was too much for just a tail of two friends hooking up. It was disappointing to think about how after everything was over, Brian would go back to his apartment, probably end up deep throating a meth pipe, and you would be locked away in yours trying your darnedest to not find yourself doing the exact same thing.

Entering the warmly lit bedroom, you found Brian standing at the at one of the large windows, staring out onto the city.

"Giving the neighbours a free show?" You teased, setting your phone down on the dresser. Brian turned his neck to face you, a gentle smile spreading over his lips, blue eyes sparkling in the gentle moonlight.

"No, I was just about to write my venmo across my abs." Brian snorted, scurrying over to grab a cigarette. You watched him carefully- intently marking his every move, not wanting the night to end and you to find yourself forgetting it's beautiful contents.

"Classy." You smirked, bringing the lighter up to help him. Frankly, your eyes were completely shameless as you allowed them to wander over the man in front of you, from the way his cheeks hollowed as he inhaled - the purse of his thick pink lips - to the gentle ripples of his muscles over his abdomen flexing and relaxing.

Reaching your hand forward your palm gripped onto bare Brian's hip, pulling him in just as he released a thick cloud from between his even plumper lips. Staring down at you with heavy eyes, Brian let out a deep sigh. He pursed his lips, bringing his cigarette to his lips, inhaling as he began to speak. "Where do we even start to be able to talk about this?" Brian spoke lowly, voice thick with smoke. His brows were knit together and jaw was tense, asking you exactly what you had been wondering yourself.

"You don't want to be with me?" You asked simply, turning your head as your eyes burnt with the pain of the entirety of your situation. There was a lump in your throat, your whole body tense with your nerves to what his answer would be.

Brian's body went rigid. "That is not fair." He snipped, your gaze burning into his, the both of you hurting in some way or another. "Want isn't apart of the equation because all I ever want is you." Brian explained, eyes narrow with more anger than you had ever seen behind his blue eyes. "And I'm not mad about you kissing whoever the fuck you kissed, but you lied- you lied to me and you made me feel like I wasn't good enough-" Brian began to tear up over his words, his eye's filling with water as he relived eve emotions of that horrible night.

"I went home with this guy." You finally stated. You watched Brian's heart break and his hands drop down to his sides in defeat as he stared at you in disbelief. "I kissed him, but nothing happened, Brian. I was drunk, he had coke and he offered it to me, I did it with him and went home with him, but nothing happened." You explained, avoiding his eye contact as you got every bit of the truth out as quickly as possible. You swallowed audibly against the quiet sound of the city.