Am I Still a Goofball? // Langst // Re-Written

// Chapter Ten : Broken //

(A/N~ Warning self harm)

-Lance's pov-

I actually got good sleep last night. I think it was because of the of headphones. They help me sleep. The noise reminds me of Cuba. With all the people talking and with all the noise.

I throw my warm bed sheets off of me and look at the clock.

5:30

That seems to be about the time Keith gets up. I wash my face mask off, put on my armor, and run off to the training deck.

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You need to be more like Keith!

"Start training sequence level ten," I say to the Altean computer.

Focus, Lance. Don't get distracted. Show everyone that you are more than just the goofball, that you are not pathetic.

Ten bots appear and I take them down, one by one.

"Ah, Keith what are yo- Lance? Why are you here? Usually you are still asleep," Allura walks into the training deck with a surprised look on her face.

"I just thought I should train more. You guys are always telling me to do it, so I'm fulfilling your wishes," I say.

"Oh, well- um, I just wanted to let you know that there won't be any team training today. I want everyone to have time to relax because of all the mayhem that has been happening lately," She says and I nod.

"Ok, I'll train just a bit longer and then go back to bed. I'll see you later," I say, waving her off. She nods and walks away.

"Start training sequence level 11!" I yell at the machine.

You have to be more like him. Show everyone that you can do it.

I shoot three of the bots.

You will not be 'pathetic' anymore. This is what everyone wanted. What your team wanted. What your step dad, Chris wanted...

I blast two bots down. Sweat is dripping down the side of my face. I pant as I get the rest of the bots.

I fall to the floor in exhaustion. "End training sequence," I tell the computer. The training bots disappear. I get up off the floor and go to take a shower.

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Ya know, Lance? No matter how much you try, you will never be like Keith. You are stupid and easily distracted. Keith is so much better than you. He is a good pilot, a good fighter, and a good paladin of Voltron.

Shut up! I can be a good paladin too if I keep practicing and fighting my hardest. I will one day finally become the teams sharpshooter!

Admit it, Lance. You don't even believe that you can do it. This is not you. The real you. You don't want to be someone you're not. You are not Keith. You are the goofball of Voltron. You are just a joke. A lie. You need to show them the real you. You are broken.

Tears are going down my face, but getting washed away from the water coming out the shower.

The real me? What is the real me? I am the jokester, but I think it keeps everyone's spirits up, right?