𝙗𝙚 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙮𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚

𝟎𝟑

"ocean o'connell rosenberg, born december 22nd, capricorn, the ambitious nature." karnak announces, 

ocean pulls the lever on the side of the ramp to reveal photos of her as kid and as a baby. she was actually quite a cute kid.

"favourite ride: the bumper cars." ocean bumps her fists together

the bumper cars were on of the rides we went on before we died, they were actually quite fun. noel and ocean had some war going on and me and penny were absolutely beating the shit out of ricky and mischa. constance refused to get on because she didn't want to hurt anyone and instead bought us all dinner. i love her so much.

"ocean was born into a family of far left of centre humanists who moved to northern saskatchewan to live a carbon-free lifestyle." 

jane was dressed up as ocean's mom. she was wearing sunglasses and a poncho while banging against a bongo. 

mischa was dressed as oceans dad, he even offered her drugs. as successful and happy ocean seemed to be, her home life didn't seem the greatest. ocean tried getting their attention by waving her hands around, even jumping in the air, but to no avail.

"the hemp needle-point sign above the household's toilet read: 'if it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown... scoop it out with your hand and put it in the compost.'" 

ocean cringed at the remembrance of the sign

"yet in between all the drum circles, marxist parables, and cheese sandwiches made of human breast milk... ocean could never shake the feeling she was the white sheep of her family."

"it was only at the age of eight, when she found amongst her parents' record collection an album called 'up with people'..."

ocean picked up the said album and forced a smile onto her face. 

constance, ricky, noel and i were dancing behind her, as to replicate this band.

"the cloying positivity of this pro capitalist gaggle of teen crooners brought tears to her eyes. perhaps the peppiest thing halliburton has ever produced." karnak said.

ocean took her place beside karnak oncemore and put her arms behind her back,

"high school president, straight 'a' student, ocean o'connell rosenberg... the most successful girl in town" he announces,

"judges, student body, colleagues, friends, ominous novelty machine... i had a speech prepared for this very occasion, but I simply cannot read it." ocean gushes

"how can she have speech prepared for this?" mischa asks me and noel, we both shrug.

"i am just going to speak from my heart. i've known most of these folks since pre-k... i love them all...constance blackwood, my best friend forever, my bff—" ocean starts towards constance.

constances looks at ocean, to jane, and back to ocean while jane is still staring at her.

"ocean she's looking-" constance begins but she quickly gets cut off by ocean again.

"shh don't interrupt sweetie, constance is the salt of the earth!" ocean exclaims,

"our 'mary main-street' looking for her 'joe six-pack'. sure, she has some serious self-esteem issues, why wouldn't she?" her voice shakes.

"look, i've seen enough reality t.v to see what you want us to do. who's the best?"

"sure, grades, humanitarian efforts, extracurricular activities, prestigious university, spiritual mastery of both Judaism and Catholicism-Nailed my Confirmation and Bat Mitzvah, in the same week. And I'm not even bragging about that because it's against my Buddhist beliefs...I am the best here, by any metric of society I get that...." ocean's voice starts to tremble as to add more emotion to her monologue