Nevermore

It ends with us

I'm back there again. The Dreamscape, or whatever Rafal called it except it's not the Doom Room this time. Gavaldon is empty, dead, abandoned so different from the colourful place I grew up in. To my surprise, Deuville's bookstore has no books, stripped clean. I feel a pang of sadness for that place, the place that fuelled my desire to attend the School for Good and Evil. No matter. Somehow I know where I'm going, a tug in the gut I can't quite explain, as my feet lead me through the village and down to the Lake. I see a figure, feet dangling into the water, flicking matches and my heart leaps. In happiness or sadness I can't say. 

"Aggie?" I whisper and she turns facing me. Its Agatha, the first Agatha I knew. The one who loved black, who thought she was ugly, my good deed, my only friend. She has that familiar helmet of black hair, bulging bug eyes and pasty white skin. 

"I've been waiting for you." She smiles, beckoning for me to sit and I scramble down beside her. Aggie offers me a match and I uncertainly flick it into the water. 

"I've missed you, Sophie."

I hesitate, glancing around for anyone else but its only us. "It's only us here, Sophie. Only us." Agatha tells me gently. 

"I've missed you too," I admit. 

Her hands clasp around mine, shockingly cold to touch. "We can still have a happy ending. Me, you and Tedros to Camelot. Or, just us in Gavaldon. Or we can stay here, making our lives what we wish. Creating a world in the Dreamscape, saving lost souls while we preside over it. Your choice."

"They'd never let me back in Gavaldon. I killed my Father. Besides, I love Rafal."

Agatha quirked a brow. "A murderer? Really?"

"Really."

"He'll never make you happy."

"He loves me."

"He loved his brother and still killed him."

"I can't Aggie," I whisper, tears pricking my eyes.

We sit in silence for a few minutes, enjoying each other's presence and the coolness of the water, the wind through our hair.

"He doesn't love you." Agatha says slowly. "He's using you, Sophie." Her eyes are wet. 

"You're wrong." I reply, fiercely, standing up. I turn away from Agatha, feeling her stare on my back. 

Gavaldon is warped and I see a blur of colours, mixing and changing into the Doom Room.

Agatha is beside me, her appearance changed again. It's Princess Agatha, dark eyes and snowy skin, silky black hair in a bun, wearing the dress she wore at the Theatre of Tales. Up ahead is a sight that sends a burst of nausea through my stomach.

It's everyone I killed in some way or another, for love. Dot, The Beast, My Father, Tedros, Agatha, Fairies, Evelyn Sader, everyone who's death I played a part.  So, so many.

"I need to get back." I tell Agatha forcefully.

She's unfazed. "To what? This?" She flicks a finger lazily, showing a flurry of fighting, a battle, both sides ripping each other apart. It dims and disappears as quickly as it came. 

Tedros stands beside me, his eyes hopeful, pleading. "Please, Sophie. You've always wanted to be Good. This is your chance to make things right."

All of the dead are staring at me, looking glowing and healthy, showing me what could be. What I could do. 

"It's not too late." Agatha begs. "I was never scared to die before the school, Sophie, you know that. But now?" Her body seems to shake. "I'd do anything. Anything."

The Doom Room disappears before my eyes and we're at the School for Good and Evil, where the whole mess begun. It's a kind of flashback, I suppose. We're at the scene after the first year of school, when Agatha saved me with a kiss after being killed by the Storian. 

We're frozen in the scene, the portal to Gavaldon in front of us. Is it Gavaldon, this time though? "I chose you then, Sophie. I'm asking you to choose me now." Agatha says with an outstretched hand. 

I look into her eyes. The one person before Rafal who understood me, who made me feel home. My soulmate, my best friend, my other half, my sister, my nemesis. I can't bear to lose her again. I can't. But I must. 

"What do you expect me to do? Give up True Love?"

"Live together, Nevermore."

I can see it all in my mind's eye - ruling the School with Agatha, two best friends who will only ever need each other. Rafal. Tedros. That future can't be. Or, it won't last for long at the very least.

"I love you Agatha." I confess. "I do. But I love Rafal more. How you loved Tedros more."

"Sophie-" Agatha shouts, but I'm deaf to her protests. I squueze my eyes shut, willing Agatha and everyone else out of my mind. 

My mind's my own. 

My mind's my own. 

My mind's my own.

I can feel Agatha resisting as best as I can but she can't hold on anymore. I hear her voice through the storm, standing out. "I love you too." And then she and all the other spectres are gone and I'm pulled from the Dreamscape back into reality. I drop to the ground into the flurry of battle, aching all over. For the pain, but mostly for her. 

I see him running towards me, killing all in his path and I stand up as he reaches me, pulling me into an embrace. "Are you okay? Is it done?" Rafal asks breathlessly.

"Yes."

"Are you okay?"

"No but I will be."

I pull away, prepared to fight. To not let Agatha get to me and to focus. If only I could. If only her face when I refused isn't permanently imprinted in my mind.