Chrysalis Days & Butterfly Nights [Wattys 2023 Shortlist]

30

30

Lucinda checked herself in the mirror one more time, something she had few qualms about doing as much anymore. She had settled for an outfit vaguely secretarial. Crisp white blouse, a little sheer, showing a hint of the black, padded bralette beneath. She liked wearing bras and bralettes with padding, rather than having silicone inserts to give her the larger illusion of breasts. A knee-length, black pencil skirt hugged her hips and legs, with her opaque, black tights beneath. She still hadn't taken to wearing stockings or hold-ups, but they had their place for certain outfits.

The long, black wig she had rolled up and secured with a claw-grip hair clip, leaving a flurry of the ends poking out of the top. She had started growing her own hair, a little grey beginning to appear within his own, brown strands, but it wasn't anywhere near as long as he would like. Not yet. Low-heeled court shoes finished off the ensemble. Others had told her that she'd regret that by the end if the night, but she had thought about that, having a pair of flat, Arabian-style slippers ready if she needed respite from the shoes.

Krystal had sat beside her, itching to jump in and take over as Lucinda had applied her make-up. Nothing fancy. Simple. Matte, burgundy lipstick. A little eye-liner. Soft eyeshadow of a similar colour to her lips. Complexion matching foundation. She had practiced a lot since starting to dress more often and, though she still didn't have the skills of Krystal, it looked passable. Even a little elegant.

Her hands smoothed down her hips as she felt her heart beating so fast, she could almost see her chest moving, the pads in the bralette bringing her blouse further into sight than Luke's drab clothing. A turn, looking over her shoulder, gave Lucinda a glimpse of her backside, the pencil skirt following the curves that weren't quite as feminine as Lucinda would like, but good enough. A noise caused her to turn back around, a little guilty for checking herself out.

"Looks good. Those shoes will cripple you behind the bar." Helen drifted past, barely giving Lucinda a glance. "Michael will show you the ropes. Just take your time. Try not to panic. It's a quiet night. There's no rush for anything."

Helen's mood had changed. A gradual change that even Krystal had failed to notice until it became clearer. After the notice of the closure date of Butterfly, she had grown less and less effervescent. After one, last attempt by Alfredo to secure funding had failed, the change had become more pronounced. Helen was becoming less like Helen and more sullen, thoughtful and morose. More like the Allen she once was.

"I'll be fine. I'm pretty sure I'll be fine. Pretty sure." Lucinda turned as Helen fell onto her sofa with a sigh. Any other night and she would have been downstairs, getting ready for the night. "I've had an offer on my house. A good one. I suppose I should really make a decision of my own on that score. Have you heard anything from Manchester? Leeds?"

Both Manchester and Leeds had thriving trans communities and, at first, Helen had shown more than a little excitement about the opportunities there. It would take her and Krystal away from Lucinda, but she couldn't begrudge them building a new life further north. Lucinda had toyed with the idea of joining them, buying a new home up there, but Helen, of late, had cooled against the idea.

"Yeah." Helen sat forward, digging her hand behind her back, under a cushion, and removed a dildo. She frowned at it and dropped it beside her. It wasn't Helen's biggest dildo. "Both. And both want me to start before Butterfly closes. I'd miss the party and I will not miss saying goodbye to my friends."

"I'm sure they'd understand. I do." She moved to the sofa, sitting on the arm, her legs tucked, lady-like, to the side. She rubbed Helen's cheek and Helen snuggled into her hand. "You have to think of the future."

"Fuck the future." Helen pouted , dipping her head before a little smile broke upon her face. She looked at her clock and patted Lucinda's knee. "I'll be fine. Something will come up. There's always prostitution. You need to go. You're always late."