The Jimin Effect ✔

Part Four/Chapter Seventeen

Jungkook:

He lay there in the lonely darkness of midnight, and every beat of his heart felt like the clock striking a desperate hour, as he tried to make the hardest decision of his life...

But then a small knock came on the door. Jungkook's heart pounded. It could only be--

He was immediately out of bed, across the room, and threw open the door.

Jimin stood there in the doorway, shivering in a thin tee-shirt and boxers, his eyes wet and puffy, small chest heaving, and Jungkook had to decide in a split second what to do, he couldn't leave the boy out on the porch...

Shit, he thought, as something inside him gave way and he opened his arms, and Jimin ran into them and started sobbing.

Jungkook closed the door behind them and let himself hold Jimin, wrap arms around him while he cried. It felt like breathing after drowning, just to hold him.

"Don't leave me Jungkook-ah, please!" Jimin started to beg, and Jungkook was so aware of their height difference suddenly. Bum-Bum. He pushed Jimin out of his arms to try to figure out what to say to him. He held Jimin by the arms...

Look at how sad he is, his heart scolded him...

Look at how small he is, his brain cautioned.

Jimin had never looked so young to him. And yet he was the same as he had always been. Jungkook's heart pounded, every beat felt like it was dragged out. Bum-Bum.

Jungkook's hand traveled up Jimin's arm to his cheek, and the boy leaned into it, fresh tears squeezing from his eyes and onto Jungkook's hand...

"Jimin..." he croaked. He searched his face, now taking both cheeks in his palms and looking at Jimin. Bum-Bum. He took a deep breath and pulled Jimin back into his arms, and the fight happened in his heart in real time, the costs realer than ever with Jimin in his arms.

How will you explain this to every person in your life?

"Park Jimin, what the actual fuck are you trying to do to me," asked Jungkook, tears running down his face, and Jimin started to sob and wrapped arms around Jungkook's waist. Jungkook took a deep breath and removed Jimin's arms from him. Bum-Bum.

"Jimin...". Jungkook led him to his desk chair and sat down so that Jimin now looked down on him, and he held the small hands in his. Jimin's ring was still on his finger, and he couldn't miss Jungkook's either...

"Don't do this, Jungkook, please. I'm over the age of consent, please!" He met Jimin's eyes, his little sad face, shoulders wracked with sobs, lip bitten as tears spilled over his face, and he felt his insides breaking, crumbling.

Forgive him. Bum-Bum.

He pulled Jimin toward him, and the boy crawled into his lap, and wrapped arms around his neck, and buried his face in Jungkook's neck. He is so small. The two clung to each other, and cried for a minute, because no matter what happened, they mourned something difficult.

Jungkook's mind raced as he held Jimin in his arms. The thought of making Jimin leave, of summer ending and never seeing him again...the thought of him with someone else... his heart felt wrenched in two, and the only solution was to mend his heart, was to bring the two sides back together, was to stop fighting what something inside him already knew was inevitable... Bum-Bum.

Forgive him.

He took a deep breath and took Jimin's face in his hands, and searched his eyes. Sad, and... desperate. Jimin loves me as desperately as I love him. And that's all this lies and deception is from, a childish, desperate love.