It was a cold fall evening in 2022, Chiang kai shek was beating his knee in the tune of the ducktales theme(reboot), then he suddenly got a call from japan, "the hell? At this hour?" He answered, "who the hell is this?" He demanded, "okay so, I found your number on Twitter- はい this is Hirohito, let me explain why I called", responded Hirohito, "make this quick!" Screamed Chiang into the phone, "okay so hideki Tojo decided to identify as a newborn so he started sleeping in the old crib I have...and...he looked tasty so I ate h-" he was stopped and interrupted with chiangs yells, "HOLY CRAP NO WONDER YOUR SHIT ASS EMPIRE FAILED!" Hirohito kept sobbing into the phone, "my tummy hurts and I've been shitting for like..5 hours now.." he cried and sniffed, "ok why should I help?" Said Chiang trying his best not to send 5 United States missiles to the archipelago after hearing this bullshit. "Can you like...I don't know..can you come over and try to help me?" Sniffled Hirohito."Ugh okay fine!" Chiang was about to start war over this, but he just carefully walked on the frozen East Sea/japan sea/whatever the hell to arrive to japan,
~insert happy Chinese winter music~
he tried not to be noticed, then went to the imperial palace, "oh lovey!" He said, he liked the design of the palace and broke in, "HIROHITO WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU! YOU IMMATURE CANNIBAL!" Hirohito sniffed and Chiang traced that, "man the hell...are you okay..?" He said with pure worry, "no my tummy hurts" cried the emperor, "sweet Jesus Christ- okay what the hell should I do about this?" Said Chiang trying his best not to commit arson, "maybe go and get like McDonald's that's a 10 minute walk from here!!" Said Hirohito while he started choking, "ok but like I'm gonna get noticed for sure-" said Chiang, he was more than done with hirohito's bullshit, like he didn't even know why he would eat a baby in the first place,especially knowing it's a full grown man in his like 40s. He tried not to hesitate and went to McDonald's to get this over with, he successfully was not caught and brought back a ten piece McNugget meal, "ok here you can eat it, there is no way in hell-" he was interrupted by some of the cutest puppy eyes made by a fully grown man. Chiang sighed and tried to make him eat the nuggets using plane noises "HERE COMES THE GOD DAMN KAMIKAZE PLANE OPEN UP THE HARBOR WIDE OR I SWEAR ILL GET CHURCHILL TO DEAL WITH YOUR BULLSHIT" finally after 7nuggets the emperor of Nihon was finally eating the last 3 on his own, well last 1 he flushed the other two down the toilet(this is supposed to be immature) "MY ASSHOLE IS MELTING!" Screamed Hirohito, he got off the toilet and kneeled facing the toilet, "WHAT THE HELL?" Screamed Chiang with fear, chiangs face was entirely covered in sweat. Then, the most beautiful thing was being birthed, a hybrid of Squidward,Hansue Miku and the country of Denmark was born, theemperors screams were extremely loud, and could be heard to Okinawa..
Meanwhile in Okinawa..
Akane Yashiro, Kiryu's old pilot, kicked down her door "WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE SCREAMS FROM THE MAINLAND? AY GOJIRA! YOU HEARING THIS SHIT?" She yelled, "AW HELL YEAH, BUT ME AND MANILLA ARE HELPING JUNIOR WITH HIS MATH WORK CAN WE LIKE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER OVER A CUP OF MATCHA?" Yelled Godzilla, still the version from 2003Back to mainland japan...
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" Screamed Chiang, "it's my new child!" Yelled Hirohito and cried from happiness, Chiang kai shek was so god damn done...he called up Churchill and Roosevelt and explained the entire story to them "yeah so that's why you guys need to at least drop a few missiles here..." said Chiang, and quickly evacuated
**over there comes on and like 10 American naval ships arrive near the East Sea/sea of japan, 2 British jets and 3 American jets arrive, rule Britannia also plays in the distance, but this time the only thing destroyed was the imperial palace**
The end.
BTW @LebaneseCrusader isn't allowed to use wattpad anymore, so i uploaded this for her
