21: HEARTBREAK

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21: HEARTBREAK
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L I S A

"Why do you want to break up?"

"We agree in this relationship together, Lisa. I have the right to not agree in this.. break up that you're talking about!"

"I thought you love me... I love you Lisa! I-I don't.. want to break up with you!"

"Please baby.. please let's talk about this! Why? Why do you suddenly want to break up with me? Did I do something wrong? Am I lacking in anything? Did I hurt you? Tell me.. please.."

"D-Don't you love me anymore Lisa?"

"You want to break up with me? Fine! I don't want to see your face ever again!"

"You disgust me. I can't believe.. I love someone like you."

My breathing hitched as I opened my eyes.

I sat up on my bed as I hugged my pillow. I was catching my breath as I cover my tear-stained face while remembering.. that night. I can't believe Sehun's expression.. his face that contorted pain and betrayal is chasing me even in my sleep!

I shook my head as I try to forget about it.

I look around my room, it's still dark outside but I can't sleep anymore. His words pleading me to stay, his voice cracking in pain.. his handsome face.. his bloodshot eyes.. all of that is etched in my memory.

"It's been two years.. Lisa." I reminded myself. "You chose to break his heart. It's not right to even think about him anymore."

I wish I could just bury my feelings forever. I broke his heart but before that, I made sure to break mine first. To the point that it wouldn't even sting when I hurt him.

But I was wrong, because every broken part of my heart ached when I saw him cry and kneel infront of me that night. I asked myself, how can Oh Sehun love me this much? To the point of lowering himself just to plead me to stay.

I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry.. for breaking your heart.

I didn't even have the time to cry because after that night, my group became busy with training and making music. The name Blackpink has boomed in the industry and in a blink of an eye, I found myself rehearsing for our concerts, shooting for our music videos, and interacting with millions of fans!

I didn't have the time to even think about Sehun because I was pre-occupied with the very reason of why I broke his heart.

Only at times like this, whenever I am alone and free.. I thought of him.

And wonder of how he is.

Is he okay?

Is he still thinking of me?

Does he already move on from me?

Does he have someone else now?

Does he even think of me, even.. just for a while?

Thoughts flooded me to the point that I am itching to search any news about his group, exo and him. But before I could, I always managed to stop myself.

Me and Sehun are over. I was the one who cut our strings.

It's been two years.

I don't know if I am successful in avoiding him, any news about him, and even seeing him even when we are in the same country and industry or if he is.. also avoiding me and that's the reason why I have no news about him for the past two years.

I was sure that if I keep this up, I'll gradually forgot about him.

I'll strive. I'll cut off all of these lingering regrets. I'll live on as if I have never met Oh Sehun in my life. I can do it.. I was sure I can do it..

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