Rumor Has It

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The slow realization that I was a father took hold of my body

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The slow realization that I was a father took hold of my body. The worst part of this was knowing I had turned that little girl, my little girl, away at the door almost nine years ago and left her with the Carvers.

My little girl.

I couldn't go back in to see Sherry now. I needed to get back home and tell Matilda, Mattie or whatever she wanted to be called. Let her know to come live with you, a larger trailer was needed. Your mind going a mile a minute was suddenly stopped by Meredith, "I know your upset."

"You don't know anything. You should have told me, before that night or even during that night." I was firm with my tone, but just as I knew I needed someone to count on, I realized I failed my own child.

"I couldn't. Janet made me swear..." Meredith looked like she was about to cry but that didn't matter, nothing mattered anymore.

"Sherry know to?" I looked at her, if she did that would stop whatever I was going to do. Meredith shook her head and frowned, "Rupert doesn't even know. He has always suspected. He was gone and I lived with Janet for her term. Pretended it was my baby, though you and I both know that should have been impossible."

"You left her with them. Do you know what they've done to her?" I was still processing the whole ordeal, still trying to figure out what to do next. What if she hates you? No she should hate you, how is Eddie going to react? Your emotions were spinning and you sat down in the dirt. As you start to put your face in your hands you feel someone walking over, "Wayne? You okay?"

Sherry knelt down, you see the familiar fingers on your arm and her familiar smell comes to your nose. I see Meredith move, but Sherry puts up her other hand, "what is going on?"

"If I tell you..... it'll hurt you." I can barely whisper the words. She grips my arm tighter and then looks me in the eyes, "Wayne, babe, please."

"How long has it been since we have touched since you called me Babe. I ruined it all, I am sorry. I came here to start trying, but now..." I stop talking as Meredith stands in silence, she is about to make a comment when she see Sherry's gaze.

"Wayne I need you to talk to me.." Sherry rubs my arm and after a bit she is leaned into me, "just say it."

"Matilda is my daughter. Janet and my daughter." I looked into her eyes, a new pain filling them, a realization that my ultimate betrayal also came with a price. That my indiscretion was immortalized with a child.

"I have to go." Sherry stands up, her hands now shaking, her world breaking apart for all to see. I would never know her pain, I wanted to be there but she wasn't going to let me close again. I had lost her now, forever.

Meredith whispers, "I'm sorry Wayne."

"

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