Still with you

Chapter one

I was told to find beauty in the world around me.

It could have been when I looked at my family, when I looked at my friends, when I looked at my lover, when I looked out my window.

It could have even been when I looked in the mirror.

Find beauty, they said, and once you do, taste it. Savour it. Lick the plate it arrived upon and suck on your fingers like it's the last thing you'll ever eat. The last thing you'll ever need. Feel the complex flavours bless your taste buds, close your eyes tight and see bright colours burst underneath them. Smile wide and bask in the glory of beauty.

Hide it from others, keep it for yourself. Or show it to the world, share the joy with them.

Make sure you enjoy it while it lasts. Immortal, the life of beauty is not. So keep a strong grasp on your sense of reality. Don't get lost in the fruitless flavours and favours, track your way in and track your way out. Don't be fooled by the promise of endless desire and passion for everything has a start and everything is sure to end.

It glows bright, doesn't it? You want to reach out and touch and once you do you are rewarded with pure bliss and an addicting rush of adrenaline. You're on cloud nine and think: who needs drugs? Who needs alcohol? This is surely more than enough. But it's not enough. So you keep coming back for more, you expect it to illuminate your life again and again and again but you don't realize that your greed is your downfall. That soon the beauty you adore will be sucked away. Then, you'll think: what did I even see in it, anyway?

You'll search for new beauty and find it. Then the cycle repeats itself.

Find beauty. Hoard beauty. Share beauty.

Don't lose yourself in beauty, in hope, in vain.

❈❈❈

Jungkook exhales deeply, he feels heavy like a lone sandbag swinging wildly from a hot air balloon. Weighing just enough to make himself upset but not so much as to bring everything down with him. He's helpless to the height and direction of his life, all he can do is sit tight and hope his intended destination is somewhere up ahead. What he can, or must, do however is in front of him right now. Empty canvas. Empty mind. It's just his luck that the moment he's assigned the most important project of his school career is also the exact moment he hits the biggest, scariest wall of them all. Art block.

He had thought that a change of environment would do him some good, hoping it would clear his mind and maybe even start him down the track of inspiration but, no. He was wrong. The air of the living room is just as stuffy and dull as the air of his bedroom. Jungkook feels as though the four white walls surrounding him are slowly closing in, hungry and desperate to swallow him whole. Perhaps the living room is even worse than his bedroom.

The door clicks open. "Something the matter, Kook?" Jimin asks without the need of a second glance. He kicks his shoes off by the door and drops his sports bag onto carpeted flooring. Jungkook looks up and attempts to give a smile, it comes out more a grimace. "Pfft, you know what the matter is." He drops his fake grin quickly, not really in the mood to put on his finely crafted mask. Jimin is fast on his feet and is already in his own room, most likely preparing for a shower. They shout through the open doors. "That art project still giving you trouble?"

"Yes." Another sigh tumbles from pink lips, hot and airy like a warm breeze on a windy day. "The brief is so subjective and specific at the same time. I mean, how is that even possible?" Jungkook is sure that he's whined like this a hundred times before, yet Jimin still listens like he always does. Carefully and quietly considering what he should say next. Words not chosen to comfort the younger; like a cozy hug to combat winter's bite, but to rile him up even more; like pouring gasoline over an already red raging fire. The blonde isn't exactly the most encouraging or gentle with his words, especially when it comes to his roommate. "Well, that's art for you! We get the same thing in dance, you'll just have to be a big boy and suck it up." Doused in mockery and sarcasm, Jimin's words don't do much to brighten Jungkook's mood. He is as unhelpful as he always is.