Arjun's resolve

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Pov: Arjun from the world of light

Arjun hovered around the palace almost the whole duration of the night as his older brother stayed with their mother. He could not relax without talking to his brother.

He did not think he could ever relax in his life.

After what they had seen. After what they now knew to be happening in some other universe.

In spite of Karna's instructions that they must forget what they saw, it was impossible. It must be as impossible for Karna, too.

When Karna finally came out when dawn was nearing, Arjun besieged him.

"Did you tell Maa?"

"Of course not," said Karna, his voice still thick with all the tears he had shed in his mother's lap. "What we saw what an evil illusion, Arjun. We cannot dwell upon it."

"It was no illusion, jyesht. It was a parallel universe. A solid, existing universe."

"To us, it is simply an illusion," said Karna firmly.

"How can you just blow it away, jyesht?"

"Because what else can we do?"

"We can go and fix things there," said Arjun.

Karna had not given him a more dangerous look since the time Arjun and Bheem had made fun of Duryodhan for shooting a comically awry arrow ("You must never make fun of anyone, you have no idea of the far reaching effects it can have").

Arjun stepped back automatically.

"I know you think I am being ridiculous," he began in a placating tone.

"At least you realise that," said Karna coldly.

"But jyesht, think about it. Think of you and me in that world! Do we deserve it?"

"We cannot say that," Karna shrugged. "We do not know them; they are totally different people."

"They are you and me."

"No, Arjun, they are not you and me. You have got to understand that. You cannot fix everything. And we should not even try to fix something that was completely out of our control."

"Jyesht--" pleaded Arjun. "I am not saying we can fix everything, but this is something we must fix. How can you and I not love each other in any universe? You are the most important person in my existence. You are everything to me."

"Arjun," said Karna, "you are everything to me, too. We would give up our lives for each other in a heartbeat. Nothing can make us stop loving each other..."

Arjun beamed. "Exactly--"

"But," said Karna sternly. "We are speaking of ourselves. We cannot speak of anyone else."

"We are basically the same people there, too."

"Yes?" said Karna. "Me calling Draupadi by a disgusting name like that? And you--"

Karna stopped, but the image of him falling to the ground with Arjun's arrow in his heart flashed blindingly in front of Arjun's eyes anyway.

"Arjun," said Karna gently. "You see, we cannot even stand to imagine--"

"It must have been circumstances. It cannot be who we are in that world."

"Circumstances are the very thing that shape a person's character!"

"But deep inside..."

"All right, what do you even want us to do?" demanded Karna.

Arjun brightened. "I say we go there, live there for a while and fix everything wrong there. By the time we come back, Karna and Arjun in that world will also love each other like we do."

"Go there?" said Karna in a deadly quiet voice. "Go and live there?"

Arjun braced himself, for he knew that tone of his brother a little better than he would have liked to.

This time, the scolding session went on forty-five minutes. It was longer than the average session, but it wasn't so bad because because Karna kept punctuating it with hugs every time his voice choked up or every time Arjun's eyes teared up.

The whole topic was so awful today.

"And we cannot return there anyway," Karna said finally, and commanded, "Go to sleep now, Arjun. Do not fill up your head with airy nonsense."

After hours with his mother and having scolded and hugged his brother to his heart's content, Karna managed to go to sleep.

Arjun did not.

"Airy nonsense, jyesht?" he whispered.

*************

Before the sun could rise, Arjun was back at the Khandava forest. Takshak was not there, though he had been hoping against hope he would be. He had been counting upon the snake-man to help him in his endeavour.

Some part of him knew that since Takshak had wanted them to have a glimpse of that universe, since he had wanted them to go there a second time, doing so could not be good for them. 

An enemy's wishes were certain to be the worst of curses on you.

But the most part of him was possessed of fire. Just thinking of himself and his brother there made him paralyzed with sadness. Sadness for them. They had no idea what they were missing.

You don't miss what you never had, they said.

But this? Arjun spoke to the Arjun of that universe, the one who had killed his older brother unknowingly. You can't miss out on having a brother like my jyesht. I cannot let you.

Arjun squatted down on the forest bed and started the prayers. 

He prayed to his father, and his brothers' fathers. He prayed to Lord Agni, whom they had helped out just yesterday. He prayed to everyone, begging to be let through into that world.

He lost track of time. After a point of time, he even forgot why he wanted what he wanted. He just wanted.

He knew his prayers had been answered when he felt the now-familiar blinding flash of silver against his eyelids. He opened his eyes, heart thundering.

There it was: the portal.

Arjun clutched the Gandiva, sent a thanks to the heavens above, and approached the portal.

I will fix everything, you'll see, jyesht.

As he stepped through, he did not think to look back at his own world a last time. So he did not see Takshak at the threshold of the portal, leering after him, like this was exactly what he had wanted.

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