And Counting || Silvanna Snape

Chapter Sixteen

Almost posted late but it's not!! 

There was nothing to do except let Peter in.

 'We should call Dumbledore first,' Sirius argued.

 'James, your son is right upstairs,' hissed Lily, and Silvanna couldn't tell if she was close to tears or setting somebody on fire.

 'If we leave him standing out there in the cold, he'll know we're onto him, and he'll be back with Death Eaters in two minutes,' James reasoned. Silvanna couldn't help but agree, but she desperately wanted to beg him to lock him out. She had seen the destruction he was capable of. He had ripped her in two.

 When Peter walked in, Sirius had already sent his patronus to Hogwarts, so when his confused beady eyes showed fear, she didn't care. Dumbledore would be here to straighten this out. And if he wasn't she was more than capable of doing it herself.

 'What's-?'

 'Marlene is dead, Pete,' James said, and Sirius clapped a comforting hand on his shoulder. 'Silvanna tried to warn her but she couldn't in time. Not without exposing herself.'

 'Exposing herself-?'

 'She was a spy for us, Pete,' Lily explained. 'She's seen everything and fed it back directly to Dumbledore.'

 'Well,' he said, his eyes darting to her, 'you must have seen quite a lot, yes.'

 'Everything,' she repeated. She could kill him. She could do it right now. She should, especially when her life was full of shouldn'ts and didn'ts.

 But then came the knock at the door, and Lily went to answer it, and Dumbledore appeared, his pointed blue hat matching velvet robes, and his silver beard shimmering.

 'What a surprise this is,' he chimed, as though Marlene McKinnon was not dead, killed by one of her closest friends. 'How are you Silvanna?'

 'I'm covered in blood, Professor. I'd like you to explain why I'm here.'

 'Well, I'm sure I don't know-'

 'You were her boggart, weren't you Professor?' Sirius asked, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes, fiddling with his wand between two fingers. 'I suppose you weren't there. It was you, telling her there was nothing you could do to help her. Interesting, don't you think?'

 At that moment, he was her favourite person in the world. She had no reason to doubt Dumbledore, but she had worried nonetheless.

 'Certainly, although her doubts were necessary. Silvanna has placed a great deal of trust in me these past years, and I will be forever grateful.' He gave a tiny nod in her direction, but still she only felt anger for Marlene. Everything for nothing. 'However, now that you have revealed yourself, I am happy to confirm that Silvanna has been guiding are efforts in the war, feeding information on the movements of the aristocrats that she has been so very close too.

 'Which leads me to you Mr Pettigrew.'

 'Me, sir?' he squeaked, shifting his feet. He did not even notice when everyone drew their wands.

 'I will be having Alistor escort you to Azkaban prison tonight. Silvanna has made us aware of your movements, and it is evident you are guilty of the greatest betrayal. These people were your friends, Mr Pettigrew, and it escapes me how you could throw that away.'

 'But-' he stuttered, his chin wobbling and his cheeks more red than ever, 'but you said - I was trying to do more - I was going to tell you, James, I swear - I-!'

 'Please leave, Peter,' Lily said, taking his wand from his hand very calmly, 'don't make this any harder than it has to be.'

 'I didn't - I wouldn't-'

 'Denial to the very end,' said Sirius, 'shut up and get the fuck out of our house.'

 He squeaked again, and transformed into his rat, but Dumbledore simply swished his wand through the air, froze him, and calmly placed him in his pocket. 'I am sorry to do this to you, but I have to see Mr Pettigrew out. I trust Silvanna is in safe hands.'

 'Of course, Professor,' said Lily, before following him to the door.

 James and Sirius whispered to themselves. They were treating her like a child, or somebody with no sanity left, but she didn't mind. She felt both, and above all felt it would be easier not to protest this.

*****

 The room still smelt like Marlene, but was now slightly sweaty, and the smell of yesterday's soup hung in the air. It sat there, untouched, cold, and stale, on the bedside table. Through the windows a few shafts of light broke in, highlighting all the dust that Lily had desperately tried to get rid of.

 It was difficult to clean though, when Silvanna lay slumbering all hours of the day. Occasionally she hummed in response to somebody, but mostly she just didn't listen to the words coming from their mouth. Sometimes she would sleep, but she was plagued by nightmares whenever she did. So many faces, so many murders, so many funerals, and so much blood.

 Always the funerals.

 One day Lily brought her some soup and hung up a brand new set of dress robes, all black. And the next day, it was not Lily who brought her the soup, but Remus.

 He sat down on the floor next to her, reached up, and twirled a bit of her hair between his fingers. 'I've missed you so much.' He didn't smell like chocolate, or books, or coffee, but sweat and the woods. She remembered he'd been spying on the werewolves.

 'You should never have left.' If she was normal, she'd have laughed. What an absurd thing to say, but she supposed he wasn't thinking as he did usually. He had returned to find one dead friend, one traitor, and one returned. 'My mum said you'd have lots of things to say, but you wouldn't be able to say them, so I'll just let you sit there.'

 She did not smile at his understanding, she only stared.

 After a while of stroking her hair while she gazed unthinkingly at the ceiling, he asked, 'Do you know what day it is?' He waited, but there was no response. 'It's the McKinnon funeral today. Lily's going to come and help you wash your hair.'

 'I can wash my own hair.' Her voice croaked, but it was a voice nonetheless. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, and he climbed to his feet.

 Silvanna didn't recall telling them where the body was, because she didn't know herself. But somehow they must have found it. And they'd have had no trouble with the others. Not where they lay on the lawn, staring at the sky.