Silhouette | Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugou

26 | Cope

Shouto Todoroki

White fog. Heavy steam. Rainforest. Noose of humidity. Dispersing fireworks. Eye static. Burning. Black. On-off, tick-tock. Snakes in the blood. Evaporation. Eye condensation. Detestation.

Groggy, disoriented, and lightheaded, Todoroki braced himself against the wall to keep his head from imploding into the steam from the water enveloping his body. He'd taken a shower in a futile attempt to purge his thoughts and wipe clean his mind, and within minutes of stepping into the shower, he was unable to breathe comfortably. After washing off and then turning off the water, the moment he stood up from the stool in his shower, an electric needle of throbbing lightheadedness pierced through his temple.

I feel like I'm going to—

Before Todoroki could finish his thought, he felt a squirming hand peel back his eyes into darkness as everything condensed into a white mist searing through the top of his skull. The next thing he could remember was opening his eyes to a warm, wet environment, a hard, uncomfortable surface, and the sound of violent knocking. The side of his head reverberated with undulating pain, and as he feebly pulled himself upright, he could make out a voice:

"OI?!" it screamed, preceded by three bashes against the door. "Shu?!"

Although Todoroki's vision was blurry and his body felt simultaneously numb and like it was on fire, he forced himself up to his feet and hobbled over to the counter. Cloaking his body in a blue towel, he opened the door, allowing the pool of steam in the room to pour onto the humanoid figure that greeted his eyes.

My head hurts... Todoroki thought while subliminally watching as Bakugou's expression shriveled into one of disconcertment. What's happening? What am I doing? This feels like a dream... But my dreams always feel so much more real than reality. What? I don't know.

"Yer head..." Todoroki heard as a hand reached towards his head. "Did you hit it?"

I don't remember. Todoroki shrugged and gently felt the side of his head where the throbbing sensation stemmed from until he flinched in pain. Ow. Fuck. When? Oh. It's bleeding. He glanced at the thin smears of blood on his fingers.

"You don't know?" Bakugou crossed his arms and arched his brows. "Did you pass out? Yeah? If yer ever feelin' lightheaded, sit down so you don't hit your head. But lemme see the wound." He cautiously stepped beside Todoroki and parted the latter's wet hair to examine the small gash that was present. "Let's compress that for a bit and go from there."

Nothing feels real, Todoroki thought while ambling over to the bathroom closet and grabbing a towel to compress his wound with. I don't feel like I'm here. I want to lie down in a cool, dark place on a futon and fall asleep. But I have work. Just the thought makes me want to die. That's not a good thing. I used to like my job. Wait, what side of my head is bleeding? Twitching his right arm, he sighed in relief when the towel on his head moved with it. I almost made a big mistake...

Bakugou leaned against the doorframe. "So, why'd you even take a shower at three in the morning?" He rubbed his eyes.

Todoroki shrugged. I didn't even realize what time it was. I just...woke up, wanted to die, and took a shower to try and take my mind off of it. My stomach hurts. I almost showed him all those scars and cuts. My heart's racing.

"You don't have an early shift or anything?" Bakugou asked while his eyes scrupulously observed Todoroki's wet, towel-wrapped features. "No? I'm fucking tired, but until we settle your injury, I'm not going back to bed."

If I slit my wrist deeper this time, I wouldn't have to go to work, Todoroki began to fantasize while drowning out reality. It would be great. No errands to do, no bills to pay, no worries to have or give... I wouldn't have to wake up anymore, and I wouldn't be kept awake by all my thoughts that just won't die. It would be—