Silhouette | Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugou

33 | Deep Breaths

Shouto Todoroki

I still wonder if Mai holds a grudge against me for leaving her when I promised I'd stay, Todoroki murmured to himself after mentioning that he had something he would later ask Bakugou. I do want to get better for her, but...

"Aight," Bakugou replied, and for a few seconds, only the whirl of the wind and the crunch of snow rang through the air. "You nervous at all to see your family?"

Todoroki shrugged. Actually, I have an idea, he typed. Since I missed Mai's birthday and strongly implied we would get a dog, I want to surprise her with one this week. Once we've talked things over, and I've adjusted to things here again, I want to prove I truly care.

Bakugou's expression became like peppermint hot chocolate; sweet, hot, and intense. "Well ain't that just adorable. I'm on board." He smirked and patted Todoroki's shoulder. "Decided on what breed?"

Todoroki mustered up a soft smile. She said she wants a big, fluffy dog. I'd like to check the adoption center first. He stopped in his tracks and handed Bakugou the phone.

Nodding, Bakugou swept off the flecks of white dusting Todoroki's hair. "I think a dog would benefit you too. Great emotional support animals." He passed the phone back to Todoroki. "Y'know, Mai mentioned that you've only yelled at her once."

"Did you ever want to treat your father or any of the people around you like you were treated by him?" Todoroki's therapist, Izaki, inquired.

Todoroki shook his head. Maybe for a short period as a kid, he replied, but if that's the case, I guess I accepted that I deserved it.

Todoroki watched his breath ascend while blinking in silence. She was nearly hit by a distracted driver, he typed. I yelled her name, and I managed to get her out of the way in time. I would never have forgiven myself if she'd died or been seriously hurt then. I would've been a mess if I lost her.

I would've killed myself without hesitation when Momo left, if that had happened.

While approaching the block Todoroki's house was on, Bakugou sighed, "That's how I feel about you." Cold and frangible, Bakugou's voice was a snowflake.

I don't really believe that, thought Todoroki, whose free, trembling hand was insinuated into Bakugou's warm hand. It doesn't matter. I won't even bother arguing.

"How are you feeling today, Todoroki?"

All right.

"Are you stressed at all? No? Anxious about anything? No? Fatigued? Kind of? What's got you fatigued, then?"

I don't know.

I don't care anymore, Todoroki thought.

"Nothin' to say to that?" Bakugou's voice gently pulled apart the threads of Todoroki's thoughts. "Asshole." He tilted his head with a smirk. "You're not gonna try and say I'm lying or something?"

It's better not to say my true, self-degrading thoughts, was Todoroki's thought as he shook his head. Some of them treated me like an animal if I brought up anything concerning. 'We're trying to help you.' So why did I feel like I was constantly playing a game of hide-and-seek from an array of hunters? Some were nice with good intentions. Others...

"You still haven't taken your medication?"

No reply.

"This is why you're here. You don't even do anything asked of you. You can start taking the meds today, or we can force them down you tomorrow. Your choice."