Citrus: Mei's Story+Matsuri volume 1 - Open Heart

III. Mei - Priorities

I watched as Yuzu excitedly jumped around our bedroom in a t-shirt and her panties. She was absolutely adorable. The reason for her excitement was obvious. Today, on our day off from school, we had been invited out by Matsuri. She had called the house phone and so I was the only one to get her genuine invitation. I gave Yuzu most of the information, but changed the wording here and there. I doubted Matsuri's decision to call the event a double date with her and Harumi had been something she wanted to share with Yuzu. I doubted she had even been serious enough to actually ask Harumi out on a date.
Matsuri was many amazing things, but confident in her own worthiness of the younger Taniguchi's heart was not amongst the list. She seemed unwilling to even consider that she was probably the only person who Mitsuko would accept that also seemed to actually catch Harumi's attention if not her affection. Even the revelation of her actions on New Years did little to actually boost her confidence. So I was stuck watching what looked like two people who were pining after each other but completely afraid of being hurt through rejection. Not just that but they tried to hide their feelings by teasing and arguing. It was ridiculous, but it also meant that she was up to something. As I tried to figure out what it was, my fiancé pounced on me.
"Our first date since we got engaged!"
"You mean our first date since I came back. Our first date when we got engaged was with Naruka and Mother on Valentine's, remember?"
That was enough to make her squirm and blush as she thought back to what happened that night.
"Meeei, that's not fair!"
"Just remember our promise from that night. Stuff like that are not to be shared with anyone. We must be a good example for the school, and that includes not living up to the assumptions people have about girls like us. Understand?"
At my question, Yuzu sighed and seemed to deflate a little as she slid off my shoulders.
"Yeah, I understand. It makes it hard to talk with my friends sometimes though. Matsuri's always hinting about things like that and trying to get me to admit that we already have... you know."
"Of everyone, she is the one that I want you to be the most silent around. She is too quick to think about such things, so I want us to be an example that there can be a different way to have a relationship than what she assumes."
"Does that mean we won't... do anything anymore?"
"It means that we still have to be careful. We don't have to hide our relationship, but while we're students I think we should keep our displays of affection until we're alone. Is that okay with you, Yuzu?"
I was trying to explain it in a way that made sense. I had little interest in ever returning to the stress of hiding how much I needed and wanted her. At the same time, I could see the reaction that my council, and worse, the board would have if we were caught in the middle of being intimate. It might have consequences for me, but it would be extremely embarrassing and harmful for her at this point. She was still not really accepted by enough people to have security in her reputation. I didn't want her to ever face anything like what happened to Maruta. However all my attempts to explain myself just seemed to make her concerned that it was just another cage on us.
"As long as we don't have to pretend like before."
"Yuzu..."
I reached out and caressed her cheek to reassure her. I wanted her to know that I was not taking back what we had talked about on my first night back. I wasn't going to stop her from letting people know that we were together, but that didn't mean we had to lose our privacy.
"We never have to lie about our relationship again. I just want to keep that one part of our relationship between us because it's not something that others need to ever know."
             She nodded and then smiled as she hugged me.
            "I'm so glad that we're engaged now! And okay, we'll keep all that stuff to ourselves. But then you have to promise me something."
            "And that would be?"
            "We go on a date. Just the two of us, but this time you let me plan everything and I take control."
          I had to fight down a smile. She was so adorable that she wasn't even really taking advantage of what she could here. I would do anything for Yuzu, and the only thing I was wanting was to keep our sex life private because I knew how Matsuri thought. Otherwise I doubted Yuzu would ever be able to talk about it with anyone. So I decided to tempt her to ask for more.
           "Is that all?"
           "I can kiss you at school whenever I ask. When we're alone or amongst friends."
           She is just too amazing and precious. There's no way I can say no to her, and I don't want to.
           I nodded and wrapped my arms around her to reciprocate her hug.
           "Very well. I promise."
           As soon as I promised, I felt her hand cup my cheek and I was pulled into a tender kiss. However then she stopped and seemed to be confused.
          "What's wrong?"
          "Do you trust me, Mei?"
          "Yes."
          She then nodded, and walked towards my desk. After a moment, she turned. Suddenly I felt like we had been in this situation before. Except the roles were reversed. By the time I could think to stop anything, Yuzu had already moved in front of me. She seemed to tower over me. Gravity took over and we fell back onto the bed. It was exactly like our first encounter, our first kiss, all over again. This time she was the one acting solely on the urge to get her feelings across. This time she was the instigator. This time there was a clear exchange of consent and purposeful restraining. She kissed me as though she was erasing all of my past encounters from my memories. She did not have an ounce of sadness or desperation that I had back then. All I felt was her overwhelming love. And I wanted that kiss to last forever.