At Dusk

Rainclouds

The place had a spherical shape, with high ceilings and stone floors. The walls were predominately beige with burgundy curtains here and there. The body lay in a casket in the middle of the room, with about thirty people around it, mourning the deceased. 

She walked towards the small crowd, compelled to pay her respects to this stranger who had in theory been the last to speak with her sister but also hoping to spot someone she could talk to. A son, perhaps. 

The man inside the casket was old, as Laura's boss had told her, his hair was white, a yellowish white, and his face was wrinkled. Yet there was a glow to his skin that seemed to revitalize his presence, even in death. It was somewhat unsettling. Her own father certainly had a very different look when he died, being on the threshold of decomposition long before it actually happened. 

The baby kicked. She looked around, massaging her belly. Everyone seemed to be in a trance. No one cried. In fact, no one seemed particularly attached or saddened by the passing of a father or a brother or an uncle. They all just stood there, looking somewhat alike in their clothing and posture. 

Some people were chanting, she realized. A wordless hymn that filled the space around her. She felt confused and somewhat drowsy. The baby was now relentlessly kicking.   

A hand touched her shoulder. Someone was asking if she wanted to sit down. She nodded, all of a sudden feeling too tired to stand. She was guided to a chair in one of the farthest corners of the room. 

She closed her eyes for two seconds. When she opened them again, there was a man sitting beside her, holding her hand. Now that she was looking directly at him, she saw a marked resemblance with the man in the casket. They were closely related, they had to be.

She wanted to ask him about his father, about Laura's disappearance, yet no words left her mouth. It was as if she had forgotten how to speak, how to utter even a single word. Her lips were sealed. 

He, on the other hand, said something in a low voice that she could barely make out. Something to do with her leaving. She shook her head. She did not want to leave, not before she did what she came here to do. But the stranger was adamant she must. 

She blinked again and now she was walking with him toward the exit, climbing into the backseat of the cab that was waiting for her. Her legs hurt, and the baby kept kicking. 

"Can you turn the air conditioner on, please?" She asked the driver as the car began to move. The man obeyed immediately but kept his eyes forward. It was drizzling outside.  

She tried to focus on what to do next. She had come all the way to this city on not much more than a hunch, only to find herself pursuing a dead end. 

You should never have left home, Linda's voice came flooding in. For the first time, she agreed. She would book the first ticked back to safety and think no more of it. Laura vanished without a trace. She would mourn her sister and be done with it. 

The baby was now kicking more than ever, which was made worse by the sultry atmosphere inside the vehicle. She asked the driver if he could enhance the air conditioner which had failed to ventilate the backseat. Only then the driver communicated that it was half-broken. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.

Seeing no alternative, she rolled down her window.  

"Lady, it's raining." 

"It's just drizzling," was her answer. The fresh air helped her breathe, as did the droplets that now landed freely on her face. They were driving by a large avenue, newly paved. There weren't many cars around.

"Lady, please, it's better if you close the window. I'll increase the ventilation."

"Not yet, I'm suffocating here... aaaagh." As she was speaking, a wave of pain irradiated through her body coming from her lower back.

"Are you all right there?" He asked, looking at her. 

She couldn't answer at first. She had never felt a stab of pain so intense. So much so that she could not speak until it had completely passed. 

"No," she said finally. "I think I just had a contraction. But the baby isn't due until next month."

"Only God knows the right time. We should be heading to a hospital."

"It may be, but I know the time isn't now. Can you pull in? I think I'm going to be sick."

"There's no place to pull in here. No way.  But we're not far."

She tried to control the nausea that took hold of her after the contraction but was unable to hold it in much longer.

"Please pull in," she interjected again. 

He started apologizing again without stepping on the break. She opened the door suddenly and he was obliged to slow down and ultimately stop the car. He turned on the emergency lights and yelled at her. 

"I needed you to stop," she replied with as much calm as she could muster. "I'm not delivering nor am I trying to kill myself."

"Relax? This is a motorway, we can't stop here."

"Keep driving then," she said as she stepped out of the vehicle. "Find a spot where you can park and come back for me. I'll just be a minute."

He closed his door and drove off.

As soon as she did, desperation crept in. Why did she have to send her only means of transport away and stand alone in the drizzle, pregnant as she was? But she was sick, very sick, so much so that staying for one more minute inside the moving car would be her ruin. 

Now she was alone in the middle of what seemed a desolate terrain. 

She started pacing back and forth, getting wetter and wetter. At least the sickness was subsiding. A pulsating anxiety started creeping in. A train of thoughts. Images and feelings all mixed up.

She must hurry; he would be waiting for her right at the university. They would finally talk face to face.

The emptiness all around was pressing upon her too. Counting the buses, she must count the buses and keep walking. The lights of the hospital, the orange hues in the sky. Count your steps then. Keep walking...

The idea of urgency bombarded her brain. It was impossible to see anything with clarity. Rainclouds surrounded her now. 

Her hair was already dripping and cold started crawling on her arms. Her clothes already sticking to her skin. The taxi. She needed to find it. Get back to the hotel. Go home. 

She felt then an alien yet familiar sensation. Just like when she and Laura were kids and wanted to share something. One of them would feel a gentle unrest in their stomach that would soon be felt by the other.

The feeling was the absolute same.

"Laura?" She said.

No one answered.

"Laura?" She said again, louder this time. The rain was coming now harder than before. 

"Laura?"

A bubble of light appeared before her. Someone appeared to be coming out of it. Slowly. It would reach her in seconds. 

She fell to her knees as another contraction shook her core and she just screamed. 

Suddenly, she was the one inside the pool of light.

"Laura, come back," she called out, just like when they were kids. She tried to reach for her sister with her free hand whilst the other held her belly. 

Someone caught her hand, and then her arm. It wasn't her sister, though. It was a man with a very worried face, followed suit by the cab driver who had yelled at her just minutes before.

"She needs a hospital," she heard one of them saying. 

"Let's get her back to the car."