At Dusk

Mirrors

At first, he could not believe what his eyes were registering. The woman he saw disappear all those months ago was now in front of him, in the same spot from where he had witnessed her depart.

She was now kneeling in the mud, under the rain, calling for someone. Alone and visibly in distress. He did not expect it would happen like that, or that he would be there to witness it happening at all. A confused driver had asked for his help, directing him to the spot where he had left her. She was sick, he said, very sick. And pregnant. 

Whatever expectations he had of her, of her identity, of her past, of her motifs, it didn't matter now. He rushed to help her stand and get out of the rain. Putting his coat around her and holding her arms. 

She let herself be taken without resistance. It was clear she needed a hospital urgently. The driver was standing a few meters from them, signaling the car; they climbed into the backseat and off he drove. 

She woke up five hours later.

Nothing was said during the first few minutes. She just stared at him, at the space around her, realizing she was in a hospital bed.

"Thank you," she finally said.

"No problem," he replied. 

A thousand questions popped into his mind, but the only one that felt appropriate was: "How are you feeling?"

"How is the baby?" She responded with another question, suddenly remembering there was something more at stake than her well-being.

"The doctor came by half an hour ago and informed us everything was in order, but that you will remain under observation for a while."

"Us?"

"Gabriel, the driver. He helped bring you. He had to go, but said he would come by later to check how you were doing."

She nodded. "Thank you," she said again.

"Don't worry..."

"I shouldn't have come here," she kept saying as a tear streamed down her cheek. "I should have listened to Linda".

"Whatever happened, you'll be all right. Your name is Angela, right?" We had to check your documents to get you admitted." He said that last part half-apologetically as if confessing a  petty crime. 

She nodded and half smiled for the first time. 

"And who are you?"

"My name is Theo."

"It's nice to meet you, Theo."  

He nodded again. "Likewise."

There was a minute of silence. 

She even turned her face sideways and closed her eyes, feeling only the pillow. He even thought she was going to fall asleep again.

"What time is it?" She asked suddenly. 

"It's eight-thirty." 

She sighed. He went on: "Do you have anyone we can contact, Angela? You must have some family to help you, in your condition..."

"No," she cut him. And when he thought she had nothing more to say, she added: "I don't have any family here. No one to help me now."

"What about the father of the child? He should be warned."

She shook her head. "He isn't here. As I've said, there's no one." She felt the urge to tell him about Laura, though, the sister she once had, but she wouldn't know where to start.

"In that case," he said, "how can I help?"

"You've already helped me for two lifetimes," she said warmly. "I'm more than a month away from delivering. As soon as they let me out, I'll go back to the coast."

"Do you still plan to travel like this?"

"You've done enough. You can go home now."

"I'll go if you wish me to," he conceded. "But if it's ok with you I would like to stay here until I know you are safe and your child is too."

She looked at him. "That might take some time".

"It's all right," he assured.

"How about you, Theo? Where is your family?"

"I haven't seen my family in a while. My mother is used to it by now. She is my only family." Then he continued: "I have Tina, though, my girlfriend. We live together."

"And won't Tina miss you if you stick around?"

"She's fine. I've already called her and explained the situation." 

Silence again.

"What were you doing up there in the rain?" He finally blurted out.

She turned her head to the other side. "I felt sick," she said. "Suddenly I needed out of the car. It was like I was in a dream. I would not do it again, though."

"You were calling for someone when we found you..."

She closed her eyes. "I had a sister... once."

"What happened?"

"She died. I came here after her, but it took too long, too much time." Then she asked: "Can you open the window a bit, she asked. I could use some fresh air."

He obeyed, drawing the curtains to the side, and sliding the window.

"Thanks," she said before closing her eyes for the third time.

"You know," he probed. "I saw someone disappear once, in that wasteland where I found you."

"Hmm," she mumbled, eyes still closed. "Disappear?"

"Disappear in a pool of light."

"Are you sure this isn't one of your stories, Theo?" She asked, half-jokingly, half asleep.   

"Yeah, it might be."

He seized the moment to get a good look at her. She seemed to genuinely know nothing about the lights. It might not be her after all, his thoughts whispered. Yet his gut feeling said just the opposite. She might not remember after all. Or she might have post-traumatic amnesia. He read that it was quite common when people went through trying events.

Angela was a puzzle. Nothing less than he would have hoped for someone who could summon lights from the sky and disappear in them.  No wonder she was his muse, at least in the book. Would she like to hear about it? Probably not. If she doesn't even remember what happened with the lights it might have been more traumatic to her than he had assumed.

Suddenly, he felt ashamed he had even written it on the page. As it turning what he saw into words would make it more real.

He decided he would not say anything unless she specifically asked about it. He knew something about her own life that perhaps she did not know, something that might help her, help her find her family. She confessed she did not have any, but how could that be? A pregnant woman... 

Perhaps her family was her past, he considered. Something she wanted very much to forget and move on from.

"Angela..." the word came out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

"Yes?" she replied.  

"I have..."

"Yes?" her eyes were open now.

"I have something to ask," he spilled finally.

She kept staring at him expectantly.

"I'll pop out for some food. Can I get you anything?"

"No, thanks, I'm ok."

"Sure," he said, walking towards the door.