PERSEUS MEANS DESTROYER

Afraid

When I wake up, I'm afraid,

Somebody else might take my place

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"Hey," Tony said, glancing up from his phone and frowning over the rim of his coffee cup at Steve and Bruce. "Where's the kid? He's usually up by now, right?"

Steve glanced sideways at Bruce, chewing on his toast. "Uh... yeah? I mean... he might be down in the gym?"

"Nope," Tony grumbled. "Not on cameras. I think he's still in his room. It's like ten..."

"Sleeping in?" Bruce offered through a mouthful of toast.

Steve frowned, "does he ever?"

Tony shrugged, turning his attention back to his phone. "I don't know, Capsicle. Does he? Look, if he's not out here by... lunch, or something, then go check on him or whatever. Surely he can handle himself." He waved his near-empty coffee cup through the air dismissively. "Respected by the gods and all that."

Percy wasn't sure what time it was when Annabeth called him through Iris' rainbow. Just that the sun was up (he could see it behind her) and that camp activities were in full swing.

"Hey!" She greeted, "I know you had to leave early, and that you're probably busy, but Chiron says the whole storm business will be sorted out pretty quickly. He's spread some story about Zeus getting his tie in a twist."

"... right," he mumbled. "And... what about me?"

She hesitated, pursing her lips. "He told me to speak with Mr. D."

Percy would have choked if he'd been drinking anything. As it was, he felt like he nearly coughed up a lung. "What?"

She waved her hands rapidly through the air, "not— it's not bad, but you know Mr. D specialises in... madness. Chiron thought he'd have a better idea of what happened."

"And?"

"He said it's normalish, for someone in your... situation. To quote him, 'I'm surprised it didn't manifest as something more destructive.' And Percy, the way he phrased it made it sound like you were having a panic attack. What happened?"

Percy hated the way her voice lowered. But he understood it. He did the same for her, even though he knew she probably didn't like it—it was instinct, practically.

"I just..." he swallowed, but there wasn't enough saliva and his throat closed up. "Leo. I was... one of Jason and I had to be storm, right? And Leo... I could have— I should have been— smarter, faster, better, I don't even know. Annabeth, I could have stopped him from—"

"From, what, Percy? The prophecy... Leo made his choice." She rubbed her eyes, "Leo made that choice. It's not your fault."

"But I'm— gods, Annabeth, I could have helped, at least—"

"And you did, fighting the army on the ground."

"I should have been up there with them—"

"Shut up," she pleaded. "Please, it's not ever going to be on you. You had no obligation to sacrifice yourself beyond your fatal flaw. No one expected you to help them. Piper and Jason and Leo had that plan for... for ages, Percy, you couldn't have changed their minds if you tried. Just... know that, at least."

"... I think I could have fought her. After... Annabeth, what if I'd been able to—"

"No," she nearly yelled, the word cutting sharp into Percy's ears.

He jerked back, eyes wide. He just—

He just suggested—

"Percy," Annabeth sighed. "Percy, Seaweed Brain— you can't just... suggest something like that, okay? We talked about this—" (and they had. They had, because Annabeth had thought and thought and thought on it, and she hated it, they both did, but it... could be useful)— "and what if you'd hurt Leo, too?"

The sheets twisted under his hands. What if he'd hurt Leo too?

"Sorry."

"Don't be. But don't just... gods, Percy, it's terrifying seeing you like that. Please don't just... throw it around."

He bit his lip, trying to breathe properly. "Y-yeah, right."

"Percy, I gotta go. Jason can't run camp on his own for that long. Be careful, alright? I love you."

"Lo— love you too, Wise Girl."

Her hand cut through the mist on her end with an apologetic smile.

He'd just suggested repeating what he did to Akhlys to Gaia. In plain view of everyone from both camps. With no idea how to do it. Annabeth let him practise on her from time to time but he knew it hurt her (that was half the point of trying to get better—hurt the things that hurt him, and because she trusted him to stop) and they didn't do it often enough for it to be... practical. And they had started after Leo.

"Fuck. Fuck," he stared at the space where her face had been a few seconds ago.

What had she been thinking? Were the gears in her head turning over constantly, did she have some twisted plot in the back of her mind, ready to go whenever (was dream-Percy right? Did she?), or was he overthinking it? Was she just running camp with Jason in the background, was she just living?

What would she do if he asked her? He could nearly imagine the look now—shocked, maybe, but trying to hide it. Maybe a little frown. Would he remind her of Luke?

Would he be the new Luke? Or would he be more like Kronos, hiding in the background and corrupting everyone else, running on his own plans (or Annabeth's, his brain supplied. She could have her own)?

The knock was quiet.

Percy didn't answer it, not the first time.

It wasn't Tony or Natasha (they didn't like him enough to bother), it wasn't Loki and it wasn't Bruce (one was tied up in the lounge room. The other just... was), and there was no way it was Clint, because he was barely in the Tower, so why would he bother coming to Percy's room?

Which meant it was Steve.

Who might be looking into Percy's family. Who might be trying to find out more about Sally (his mom. His favourite adult in the whole world, who always made as many things as she could blue because it spat on the gravestone of the man they both hated, who had stuck with him and been his safety net years before he'd met Annabeth) and Paul (Paul was nice. He liked Paul, which was more than he could say for so many of the father/brother figures in his life. Gabe. Luke. Poseidon.) and Estelle (his baby sister. His baby sister, who he'd protect with his life if he had to, who he'd rocked to sleep and cuddled and slept next to and for some reason she helped with the nightmares, just a little, and when she cried he wanted to scream because why was his baby sister crying, she shouldn't have to cry—), and he didn't have a clue what they wanted to do with that information, so maybe he was overreacting but he didn't trust the Avengers, so it felt justified.

And hey, maybe it was. They were the ones creeping on his family for no apparent reason other than 'we don't have as much information on you as we would like'.

So, yeah, he felt it was justified when he hissed-yelled-croaked at the probably-Steve standing on the other side of the door. "What?" 

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First published ::: 10.12.22
First edit ::: n/a
Wordcount ::: 1202
Chapter dedication ::: n/a

<3

Yours,