Forgive And Forget

Chap. 8 🔥

(CW: PTSD attack (i tried making it as accurate as possible, please tell me how i can make it better), Shigaraki being an inconsiderate bastard)

Dabi was standing near the door of the apartment he suspected was Hawks'. Seeing Mirko storm out deepened his suspicion, but it also made him realize what the was doing. He was outside the No.2 hero's possible house with no actual reason to be there. They didn't even like each other, not one bit, so why had he ended up there? Maybe his distrust lead him to keep a very close watch on the guy, but it wasn't needed. Twice was already burdened with that task. Plus, he was certain of having been spotted by Hawks, even if it was only for a second. He was pointlessly endangering himself.

As the villain walked through the busy streets of Musutafu, he heard a familiar, sharp voice. He spun around quickly, his eyes landing on an elderly lady dragging a crying child by the arm. All of a sudden, the kid started to look an awful lot like Keigo, and the lady, a whole lot like the woman who ruined his life. His breathing became shallow and he was overcome with nausea. Trying to find his way back to the base, he stumbled into a random alleyway, where he slid down to the ground, his head between his knees. He could still hear the lady's voice, accompanied by a distressed little Keigo, begging her to let go. The world began to spin, and he closed his eyes to try and recenter himself.

The memories came rushing back. Every hit, every scream, he felt it all. Keigo's terrified face the day they were separated, the high supervisor's sneer at his attempt to save his friend, he couldn't escape them, no matter where he looked. He couldn't breathe. His lungs felt like they were collapsing in on themselves. His body started shaking violently and he was seized with hot flashes, reminding him of the day he "died". The temperature around him felt as if it had sky-rocketed. It was like he was surrounded by his own flames all over again, and this time he would actually die from them. 

A hand gently grabbed his shoulder, snapping him out of his trance. Jumping to his feet, he searched for whoever it was that touched him, thoughts in his head assuming the worst. His already shallow breathing became even more irregular as he entered a state of pure panic. Two blonde, spiky buns appeared in front of him, and when he looked down, a blurry Toga was staring at him with a worried expression. Her eyes widened even more when she saw the amount of blood coming from underneath his ocular scars. 

"Dabi?! Are you okay?!," the girl asked, trying to wipe off some of the blood.

He couldn't answer her. His throat was blocked, as if he was trying not to cry. He didn't think he'd be able to even open his mouth. Toga, somewhat understanding the situation, backed up and put her hand out.

"Here, take my hand, I'll help you get to the base. I wouldn't usually be worried about you being alone, but you're in no condition to fight," she explained, mostly speaking to try and keep Dabi grounded. He slowly put his hand in hers and they started walking. He seemed stable, but Toga wasn't gonna risk anything and continued talking.

Once they arrived at the base, they were greeted by a very angry Shigaraki. He claimed to have called Toga many times, asking where she was and what was taking so long. A trip to the grocery store shouldn't take over two hours. She pointed to Dabi, who was still unresponsive but looked a lot better than earlier, saying that she found him in dire need of help. She looked over to him, silently asking for permission to explain in a little more detail. He nodded, before heading to his room to try and calm down completely.

"I think he had a panic attack or something like that. So now he's gone non-verbal," Toga tried to say, but the lack of information was making it difficult to decipher.

"That's no excuse. We should always be at the top of our game, some stupid hyperventilation shit shouldn't be able to disrupt that," Shigaraki countered.

"No, you don't understand! Whatever happened really messed up his mind, it looked like he was crying because of it! Although it was blood... But anyway, it was definitely not normal for Dabi!"

"I don't care. If he doesn't get himself together by tonight, he'll have to go."

"What? Shiggy, that's not fair! You'd be kicking him out for something he can't control?"

"Yes. And if you don't shut up about it, you'll be out too."

The girl closed her mouth, very frustrated by the leader's unfairness. It was clear that her friend had undergone a very stressful situation and that it would take more than a couple hours to recover completely. Reluctantly, she went to knock on the door to his room, to tell him the news. Dabi's usually messy hair was all over the place when he opened the door, his eyes droopy. He grumbled something along the lines of "What do you want" and Toga sighed in relief, knowing he could speak again.

"Shiggy said that you had to be okay and ready to pounce by tonight or he'd kick you out," she said, after being invited in the room and sitting on the ground.

"He wouldn't dare and he knows it. I'm too valuable in his eyes," Dabi retorted tiredly. PTSD attacks could do quite the number on you.

"Are you sure?"

"100%. Vodka?" he raised a bottle of the clear alcohol, along with two shot glasses, offering some to Toga.

"Kurogiri said I'm too young to drink."

"Okay? And where is Kurogiri right now? Exactly. Not here. Go wild."

He gulped down his first shot, exhaling as the liquid burned down his throat. Toga hesitantly picked up the other glass, tasting the alcohol, shuddering and finally, swallowing the whole thing. She made a face, sticking her tongue out and trying not to cough. Dabi laughed, making Toga momentarily forget the awful taste in her mouth, as she smiled at the laughter coming from her friend. Subconsciously licking her lips, reminding her of the vodka again.

"This shit tastes horrible! Stop laughing! Why would you do this to yourself voluntarily?! Shut up! It's not funny!"