CLXXVII- Our Gray Areas

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What happened between Shawn and I isn't usual. I don't typically freak out during sex because I remember I'll never have kids. I do have a child, I even adopted him once Shawn and I got married. All to say that I'm over it. I've moved on from my tragedies, but they have a funny way of creeping up on you. They pop up during unwarranted times and remind you of all the things that you lost.

I would also like to reiterate that I'm not completely barren. Getting pregnant isn't impossible for me, just improbable. We could go through IVF or surrogacy, but now isn't the time. Afterall, we haven't even been married that long. That being said, we don't use protection anymore and if I end up pregnant then it was meant to be.

"Jake passed out." Jenny said, as she made herself comfortable on the air mattress. I put down a few blankets and pillows to help her sleep better. "Thanks again, for letting us stay the night. I hate driving in New York at night. I grew up in a small town, city living is a little bit out of my element." I laugh at that because I've seen how she drives. Small town or not, she's out to kill her passengers.

"I think we're all better off here for the night. Hey Hunter?"

He looks up from his phone, "Hmm?"

"Did you let Seth know you'll be here?" Hunter nods but doesn't offer anything else.

I poured some wine for the four of us. Minus the drunkard asleep on the couch, and the woman six months pregnant on Monday. That leaves Shawn, Katie, Hunter, and me. Speaking of the lovely husband, "They're finally asleep." Shawn says, joining us in the living room. I handed him a glass, "Thanks." He kisses me on the forehead.

"Aren't you two passionate?" Jenny giggles, "We heard you two in there." I look down at my glass because it's not exactly something to boast about.

Hunter sets his phone down in his lap, officially tuning in. "I'm not at all surprised. DO you remember prom?" He raises a knowing eyebrow but Jenny shakes her head.

"I remember them taking a picture together because we thought he was lonely." This causes me to almost snort. I can barely remember what it was like back then. Keeping track of all of the lies, and doing anything it took to be with one another.

Hunter chimes in with, "Believe me, he wasn't lonely when they snuck off to his classroom to fuck." Shawn-with a look of amusement- holds back a smile but winks at me.

Jenny looks at us with her mouth agape, "Wow, that actually makes a lot of sense now that I think about it."

"How so?" Shawn asked, his glass of wine is almost empty so he pours himself some more.

Jenny shrugs, "You two disappeared at the same time often." I suppose in hindsight, we weren't as sneaky as we thought.

It doesn't really matter though, "It all worked out." I added to the conversation.

Hunter gets a text message on his phone and is quick to grab it. I think it's Seth, but decided against being nosey. "Don't be so sure." Hunter said, with a look of uncertain doom in his eyes. "The future changes people."

"How depressing." Jenny quipped at him. "I mean, come on. Every single one of us married their high school sweetheart." She gestures to Shawn, "Even you, in your own weird and unorthodox way."

Katie raises her hand in an awkward wave, "Except for me."

"Except for Katie." Jenny continues, "I know we may not be a big hotshot CEO like Shawn over there, but how can you say it hasn't worked out?" I appreciate her vigor, the sense of fight that clings to her still.

Shawn smirks, unbelieving that he is as "hot shot" as Jenny claimed. "I don't know, Hunter might be onto something here." I'm starting to think I should cut him off at this point. "The future changed us, all of us. Just because it worked out so far, doesn't mean we didn't have to go through hell to get here."

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