Part Seven

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“So, um......” Dana started.

It was late at night and we were curled up on the sofa, drinking hot chocolate, watching TV. Little had been said between us. 

I turned to her.

“Hmm?” I asked.

“Nothing, I just.....” she tried, looking for words. I knew what she was going to say, yet I sat there, wondering if maybe she wasn’t going to bring it up.  “About your parents.”

“Yes?” I asked, totally calm.

“You didn’t tell me they were dead,” she whispered, looking down at her mug.

“I didn’t come up,” I said, shrugging.

“Oh come on Harlow,” Dana cried, putting her mug down. “It didn’t come up? Really?”

I shrugged again.

“You know this is a big deal!” she continued. “You’re parents are dead and you came here, running away from the truth. And you don’t tell me?”

“You have no idea why I came here!” I yelled, standing up.

“I don’t? That’s because you haven’t told me Harlow! I do the kind thing and let you stay at my apartment and I don’t even know why I’m letting you” she yelled back, standing up too.

“It’s my information, if I don’t want to tell you I won’t!” I answered, folding my arms.

“Oh come on, I’d like to know things about my roommate!” she explained.

“Look, I can’t talk about this. Not now,” I sighed.

“Then when, huh? Or are you going to keep putting it off until I forget about it?” she questioned.

“I can’t do this! You have no idea what it feels like to keep all this a secret. You think I don’t want to let everyone know about my life and know why I’m here? It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s the fact that I can’t say it out loud. If I say it, it makes it real!”

“It is real Harlow!”

I frowned.

I’m not dumb. I knew it was real. But I didn’t want it to be. I hoped that if I never mentioned it, then maybe, just maybe, they’d all come back. Mum, Dad, Stark.

I was childish, yes, but I still had wishes at eighteen.

“Do you think I don’t know that either? Honestly, how the heck would you react if you loose your parents three years ago then your older brother three months ago? Huh?”

Dana gasped.

“You didn’t tell me your brother died too!”

“I didn’t tell you a lot of things.”

“But three months ago? Harlow, I’m so sorry!”

“Save it Dana, I’m tired.”

I curled up on the sofa, pulling the blanket down.

Dana took this as a signal to leave, quietly walking to her room.

I closed my eyes, banning all thoughts of my family, thinking of happy things.

Rainbows, ice cream, Chace.

 Chace?

 Since when did I think about him?

 His arms were rather yummy, and his smile was cute. Damn heck it, he was hot.

 I allowed myself the pleasure of thinking of him, just this once. I was too upset and needed all the cheering up I could get.

 The next few days were tricky. Work was useless at keeping me amused. It was hard to get me out of a foul mood, and rude customers did not help.

 Chace noticed I was down, and countless times tried amusing me, doing funny dances, pulling faces, anything to get me to crack a smile. I didn’t react, and eventually he stopped trying, watching me from across the room while I sat alone eating lunch and he sat with Bitchy, Mr. Acne and a couple of other people. Every now and again I would catch his eye, and he’d grin meekly, but seeing I didn’t respond, eventually gave up.

A week later, he was almost totally ignoring me.

And now on other news, Canada’s richest family announced today that they were buying Orchard’s paint industry. Mr and Mrs...........”

I switched the TV off. The satellite dish had been broken in a storm two nights ago and the only freaking channels we caught were the news channels. Just my luck.

The front door opened and Dana walked in with Ashley.

They were talking loudly, but seeing me, Dana stopped, and Ashley with her.

“Hey Harlow!” Ashley said cheerfully.

“Hi,” I replied, fake smiling, and rising off the sofa.

“Um, me and Ash were going to watch a film and have a girly talk before Scarlet’s. Wanna join?” Dana asked.

We hadn’t talked after the small fight last week. It was simple banter, like ‘Could you get some milk’ or ‘Is the food done’ or ‘Have you seen my shoes’ but no proper chats likes before.

“No thanks,” I replied, walking to the coat hanger and slinging on a jacket. “I’m gonna go out for a bit, you girls have fun.”

Ashley gave Dana a small look, as I grinned quickly and walked outside.

April was a chilly month, and this night was like every other. I hadn’t thought this out well. Going out hadn’t been an option until the girls walked in, all happy and cheerful. I was not in the mood for that.

My jacket was thin and my leggings were too, and I only had a long band t-shirt on underneath.

I shivered, walking along the road with no destination. I remembered Dana had said there was a park not far from here, a little kiddie’s playground.  I walked to where I thought she had pointed her finger.

It was pretty light for seven o’clock, and the park wasn’t too far away. No children were actually in the playground, but I could see a skate ramp just behind it, and there were two guys sitting there.

Back home, me and Leah were in love with a guy called Chester for months. He hung out at the skate park not far from Leah’s house, and it was out favourite place to go. Stark and Leah’s little brother Sam went there often and were good friends with this Chester guy,  so off we went, two little naive girls, batting our eyelashes and flicking our hair, like the magazines told us to. Point is, Chester got a girlfriend, and we were heart-broken. Turns out, he never actually liked us. Not even as friends. ‘Too full on’ were his words. Good point.

 I sat down on the swing, smiling at memories of me, Leah, Stark and his best friend Eddie at the park next to our apartment, playing childish games like Tag and Hide-And-Go-Seek. We lived like children for years, cherishing the moments we had until we were forced to be adults and go finds jobs and be ‘responsible’.

The skater guys laughed loudly, and I turned to look at them. They were sitting at the top, drinking cans and eating what looked like Chinese food.

I really wanted to go socialize, make some new friends maybe.  I felt a little down, still not really in the mood for happiness, but I knew I had to pull myself together and ‘man up’ as Stark said.

I got off the swing, persuading myself to go over there and say hi. I knew how those people worked, and they didn’t look too bad. Heck, I had nothing to loose.

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