Insanity

Chapter four - 6th of March

"What do you mean 'until you'?", she asked after a minute of shocked silence. "I don't know", I said truthfully, "there's just something, I don't know why, or what, or how, but I just know." She starred at me, just as intensely, if not more, than she had done when I came back into the room. "You started the fire?" Her voice caught as she said it. I wanted to cry, I wanted to tell her the truth, I wanted her, I needed her. "There was a power outage and we put candles on, they were my idea. We were all drinking, we were young and stupid, I shouldn't have gone outside, I should've died like them." "No, listen to me, okay. Stop thinking that you should've died in that fire, because you shouldn't have", she says, slowly forcing me down onto my bed. "But I should've. I was the one who accidentally nocked over a bottle of vodka. I was the one who went outside onto the balcony to smoke. I was the one who flocked their still lit cigarette into the house. I ran away when the fire started. I didn't look back. I didn't help", I say, tears staring to fall. She leans over to wipe them away. I look at her, longingly. "By the way, I just got out of a relationship, I'm not really looking for something right now. Im really sorry though", she says standing up. "I could, we'll kinda say the same, with the whole 'accidentally setting a fire that killed my girlfriend a couple of months ago' thing", I say laughing quietly. 

Later at lunch Eleanor comes up to me. "Hey. I have a tiny problem", she says sitting down with her tray. "Shoot", I answer. "My ex-girlfriend, we'll she's already 'gotten over' me and, well, I was kinda hoping that you would, like, help me get back at her", she says tentatively. "What were you thinking?", I ask with a grin forming on my face. "I was thinking a fake dating scheme. You're 'the mysterious new girl' and I'm 'the gay girl'" she says looking at me. "It just works somehow." "Yeah", I say. "It's a deal."