What He Expects

Chapter 18

A/N

 So like I really need a new cover for this story... If any of you wonderful waffle loving pineapples have a good one, message me and I'll give you my email and you can email it to me! Because I fell like this cover is really boring and stuff. So yeah, thank you all so shucking much for commenting, sorry for making you cry and almost drop your phones, so here's the next chapter sorry if it sucks. (And if you guys want can you go check out my upcoming Louis Tomlinson story called Perfectly Imperfect, so far it's only one chapter but the rest will be out in August. Thanks)

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 Talk to ya later shanks! ~Emily 

 I didn't know what to say. I wanted to break down in tears and curl up in a ball and not talk to anyone and just eat Nutella all day. (A/n or should I say NEWTELLA, you guys always say that so I BEAT YA TO IT!) Thomas had a very depressing look on his face.

"I'm so sorry Autumn." He said, his voice cracking. I gave a weak smile and cradled his face with my right hand.

"It's not your fault." I whispered too afraid to speak any higher or I might break.

"I just know you're really upset right now." He whispered back. I bit my lip and looked down.

"It's fine." I barely said.

"No it's not, if you need to cry, cry. Please don't bottle up your emotions and get all depressed. Everyone is here for you and they don't care if you cry your eyes out." Thomas said placing his hand over mine and giving it a gentle reassuring squeeze. I nodded my head.

"What's going to happen to me?" I said after a few minutes of comforting silence.

"The doctors said they would do surgery to remove the tumors or they will just remove your uterus all together, it's up to you." He said. I let the silence help me think about my options. If I just got the tumors removed then we could still have a chance to bring another beautiful child in this world, that and I would still have periods and there is still a chance the baby could die and I would feel this pain and emptiness again. Or I could get my uterus removed all together then we won't have a chance to bring the kids, there would be no chance at me feeling the emptiness and pain again and I wouldn't have periods. This is a bit of a hard choice...

I sucked in a breath.

"I'll have it all removed..." I said.

"Are you sure?" Thomas asked.

I nodded my head. "Yes, if we decide we want another one then it still has a chance of not making it and I don't want to go through all of this again so it's best if we do this."

"Whatever you feel like the best choice is, I'll choose it as well." He kissed my hands. I gave a small smile. The doctor came in and told me what Thomas had told me and I recited my decision. They were going to do the surgery today and get it out of the way. I was a bit nervous but my mind was still preoccupied with the death of my unborn child.

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            There was a slight pain after the surgery but nothing I couldn't handle. I was released out of the hospital two days later. I was happy to be home, pushing all thoughts of our departed baby away. I hugged Mark first, I missed him way too much and last time I saw him he was being hauled in to the ER. I'm so freaking happy he is safe and ok, if he wasn't I don't know what I would do.

 We decided to have a movie night, Thomas not wanting to put a lot of strain on my sore abdomen. We plopped in Finding Nemo and all cuddled on the couch.

"We missed you mum." Will said kissing my cheek. I smiled.

"I missed you guys even more." I kissed each other their heads.

"So we're not going to have a baby brother or sister?" Arraya asked.

I shook my head sadly. "No the baby went to heaven."

"Oh does Jesus want the baby?" She asked.

I nodded my head. "Let's focus on the movie now." She nodded her head and rested her head on my lap. All the kids were out by the time the movie was over. Thomas and I got them safely to their beds and went to our own bedroom. We were already in our pajamas but Thomas pulled off his shirt. I smiled down at his bare torso.

"Like what you see?" He asked.

I shook my head. "No."

He dramatically gasped and held the shirt to his chest.

"I love it." I walked over and rested my forehead on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around my waist and we gently swayed.

"I love you so freaking much Autumn." Thomas whispered against my hair.

"I love you so freaking much Thomas." I smiled against his chest.

"Good." I could feel him smirking.

"Let's get to bed I'm tired." I yawned.

"Ok." He said and led us to the bed. He laid down and I cuddled up next to him, inhaling his amazing Thomas Brodie Sangster smell. He wrapped one of his arms around my waist, scooting me closer to him, being careful on my recovering stomach. I looked up at him and gave him a peck on the lips.

"Goodnight Autumn, I love you so, so, so, so much." He whispered burring his face in my hair.

"Night, and love you more." I said letting my eyes flutter close.

"That's impossible." He whispered, I couldn't argue because I was already half asleep. "Because the love I feel and have for you compared to the universe, makes the universe the size of a pebble."

I smiled before drifting off into a peaceful sleep.