State of Love and Distrust

May 1992: Part I

Ever since the riots broke out, I had my hands full at the church. The phone was constantly ringing off the hook with pleas for help and requests for the Pastor's presence. The calendar was full, with multiple meetings filling each little square. Day in, day out, I had to greet visitors and express my condolences. After a couple of weeks, I was getting overwhelmed and hadn't really thought about anything besides work. Additionally, Mom and Mr. Hernandez barely let me out of their sight. Mr. Hernandez would always drop me off or pick me up from any destination. I'd barely gotten a chance to see Dianne or have any kind of fun or relaxation.

One day, the phone line had calmed down for a bit, so I sat quietly, taking in the rare moment of peace. As soon as I closed my eyes, the phone rang once more. I inhaled deeply and gave a monstrous exhale. I didn't know if I could handle more human interaction.

"This is Our Lady of Guadalupe. How may I serve you today?"

A familiar voice started laughing on the other line.

"I am looking for my best friend, who I haven't seen in a while."

"Dianne? Why are you calling here?"

"I was trying to get a hold of you. I miss you."

When she said that, I felt really bad. I missed Dianne so much, but my work had swallowed up all of my free time, and all of my emotional energy. Also, there was a curfew for a few days, and Los Angeles had been plunged into a state of emergency.

"Hey, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, it's alright. These are crazy times. Are you OK?"

"Not exactly. I don't know what to make of anything. There was camera evidence that the police were wrong. I don't understand. I don't. The church has been busy nonstop, and my parents won't let me out of their sight."

Dianne sighed heavily.

"Yeah, I know. The whole situation is fucked up. I get why people are mad. I really do, but all those innocent people..."

"I wonder what's going to happen now," I said.

After that, we both sat on the phone, silent.

"There's something still coming up we wanted to go to," Dianne stated, breaking the silence.

I started to mine my brain. Oh CRAP. Dianne didn't wait for me to respond.

"Our favorite boys are still coming to town. We have our tickets. I called the Palladium. The concert is still on."

"Oh, right," I whispered. "So much has happened."

On one hand, I felt super guilty about forgetting that Dianne and I had made a pact to see Pearl Jam. On the other hand, I also felt guilty about trying to go to a rock concert considering the state of the city. A good part of Los Angeles was wrecked, and tensions were still high. The police presence was triple what it used to be, especially since the National Guard was still in the area. What would my parents think? Dianne seemed to be reading my mind.

"It's OK. I think it would be really great to go. A rock concert is a perfect place to let out all this pent-up rage in a healthy way. Plus, you've been working so hard lately! You deserve a break. It won't be as fun without you."

I could feel Dianne pouting her lips across town, and she was right. I'd been working a LOT. However, I still didn't know how I'd get around Mom and Mr. Hernandez. They would say no. But at that moment, being there for my friend was pretty important too.

"We'll have to figure something out. You know how my parents are. They'll freak. Mr. Hernandez insists on driving me anytime I need to go anywhere. He won't take me to the Palladium."