You Say Jump

Chapter 8: Varian, last part

As long as he can remember, Varian has had to do what people tell him to do.

If he thinks back to that first time his dad sat him down and explained that not everyone does what they're told, he remembers feeling genuine confusion. When he really thinks about it, he had seen other kids be unruly and noncompliant with their parents before and assumed that they just followed directions better when he wasn't watching. After his talk with his dad, he began watching those other kids with envy and it's a habit he never really stopped.

Being free to choose is a gift everyone else has, but nobody but Varian would be grateful for. In darker moments he considers whether the only true solution is to isolate himself from anyone and everyone who takes it from him. Because at the end of the day, isn't the core problem of his curse just other people?

As he steps through the portal and the white light filling his vision fades, Varian blinks dazedly at the otherworldly scene taking place of where he was moments before. No longer is he underground, or in a castle– but at the same time he's not exactly outside.

The Eternal Library expands around him in a never ending world unlike any he's seen before. It is brightly lit but when he traces his gaze vertically up the shelves that reach like towers into the sky, there are pearly white clouds forming a high-rise ceiling and no sun to be seen. The shelves themselves are formed as if grown there like trees, the wood both alive and actively growing: leaves, vines and flowers drape over an endless eclectic collection of books that look taken from every time and place imaginable.

The sight makes Varian's breath catch in awe.

He turns in a slow circle, impossibly trying to take it all in. When he comes to a 180 degree turn facing the direction from which he came, he sees an empty framework similar to the Demanitus device that got him here. Tentatively he reaches out and feels the air on the other side. Nothing happens. The energy source keeping the door open has been disrupted. He feels a muted spark of unease at the thought that he may very well be trapped here. Alone.

His mouth tightens. Good.

He turns back to the Library, roughly brushing away the residue of tears in his eyes, and begins walking.

...

Everything is on fire.

Not literally, but it may as well be for the devastation Hugo feels: his chest is scorched as though a forest fire has spread and burnt out all that he had growing within him for the past half a year. All the little roots of hope that against all odds he let himself plant. He's hearing Donella scream about un-gunking the machinery Varian sabotaged before he disappeared and seeing the men scramble to try and help her, and feels that he's fallen to his knees but for all the sensory information his brain offers, it feels like he can't process beyond one thing:

The look on Varian's face when he'd looked him in the eye knowing that Hugo gave him an order he couldn't refuse and used it to betray him. As far as injuries go, the pain of a burn is the closest to how this feels: consistent and unwilling to be soothed, as if the flames live on under his skin.

"-go. Hugo !" he vaguely registers someone calling. He turns his head.

Nuru has managed to spit out her gag and is glaring at him thunderously. Yeah, that's about what he deserves. Once she sees that she's got his attention, she frowns. "What are you doing, idiot? Get us out of these!"

Hugo blinks, looking at the alchemical crystal that binds her and Yong to the floor. It takes a second to register that he does in fact know this compound, and has access to the dissolving solution. It's not like Don or anyone else is paying attention to him anymore, now that she's gotten what she wanted. He braces himself and staggers to his feet.