Chiara Rose

cinque

a/n - comment a lil whilst you're here, u guys are funny. hope u like x

tw - mention of self-harm, rape, sexual assault and abuse. please be careful, there will be no mention before specific scenes <3

Chiara's POV

I can't find the words to quite describe how I feel, so I just sit there and stare at the boy to my side. The boy that is apparently my twin brother. A twin brother mother dearest never told me about. Carlo was pretty much mirroring my expression, he just seemed a little less shocked. Probably because he knew I existed.

I'm brought out of my trance by the clinking of cutlery and quickly realise that the boys surrounding us have started to get their breakfast. And at the sound, Carlo does the same, quickly reaching over and grabbing a few waffles.

I quickly shrink back into my seat, not bothering to make a move to grab food. I mean, I don't even know if I'm allowed to eat. I had to get permission back home. And honestly, I don't really need any food right now. I'm used to not eating.

From beside me, Gi clearly sensed my discomfort, glancing at me and my empty plate worriedly.

"You want anything to eat?" He whispered, making sure no one heard him but me. And I liked that, it meant no attention was being drawn to me. And it also means I'm allowed to eat.

"Just some bacon and a little bit of scrambled eggs." I whispered back, and within seconds three pieces of bacon and a solid scoop of scrambled eggs are sitting on my plate. Clearly, he thinks I can eat a lot, there is no way I'll be able to eat all of it.

And having a quick glance at every other plate on the table, I start to understand why he put so much food on my plate. These guys eat a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean a lot. Like Gi went easy with me, compared to Rocco's plate mine is fairly empty. And clearly, that upset a few people.

"Is that all you're going to eat?" Agostino asked from the other end of the table. There wasn't any malice in his tone, he just sounded genuinely confused. And to be honest, I get it, he's probably used to his siblings loading up their plates.

"Leave her alone Tino, she's not a pig like the rest of us." Damiano, well my Dad, quickly cut in from the head of the table. He was quick to send me an apologetic look and was about to add something before Rocco cut him off.

"Yeah right, she's probably anorexic or some shit. Just look at how skinny she is under that hoodie." He scoffed, shooting a glare at me as he did. And it was enough to make me shrink into my seat, and for everyone at the table to drop into a tense silence.

I mean, I don't think I'm anorexic. If I could eat more without feeling sick, I most definitely would. Besides, my past relationship with food and body says I'm more bulimic than I am anorexic.

"Rocco, pop into my office after breakfast, please. And bring your car keys with you." Damiano says, his tone is extremely stern. I make a quick mental note to not make him mad because that tone is absolutely terrifying. I don't know how Rocco isn't crying right now.

I drop my gaze to my plate in shame, I probably could start eating more. It just makes me feel insanely sick, and half the time I end up throwing it up. But if they want me to, I suppose I could make it happen.

"Don't listen to him Chiara, I'm not sure where he's getting his ideas from. You've got plenty on your plate." Gi says gently, helping me gain the courage to lift my head up. And it helps because people are mainly focused on their food now. Apart from Dad.

"I'm not anorexic, I just don't have a huge appetite." I'm not sure why I feel the need to explain myself, but a do. And it causes an apologetic and sad smile to spread across Dad's face.