Chiara Rose

sedici

tw - mention of eating disorders, loss of a loved one, abuse and anxiety.

Chiara's POV

"What if they don't like me?" I feel physically sick.

I'm sitting in the car, whilst Dad's driving us to the restaurant to meet the rest of my family. We're piled into this car, which looks like one of the big suburbans that FBI people drive in the TV shows.

Dad's driving, with Gi in the passenger seat. Rocco and Enzo are in the two seats in the middle, and there are only two because there's a gap between them to get to the back. Which is weird, they're not like that in Australia. Bruno, Carlo and I are all squished in the very back seat, with me nice and cozy in the middle.

"Then they don't like you. Give them the finger and leave." Bruno shrugs from beside me, clearly not understanding the amount of anxiety I'm currently feeling.

I've been anxious all day. And it's annoying because my anxiety has been pretty good since I first got to New York, but it's slowly been building up all week and has peaked today. And to top it off, it's my Mum's birthday. 14th of October. I spent the day in the ice rink skating in an attempt to feel closer to her, and I'm wearing the rose necklace she passed down to me a few years ago.

I miss her. I've missed her ever since I lost her to drugs. I've been missing her ever since she fell into that hole with John, a hole she could never quite get out of. And it makes me so sad, knowing the potential she had to be my mother, just for it to all be taken away by drugs.

I don't think I'll ever stop missing her, there'll just be days where I miss her more than usual. And today is one of those days.

"Chiara, deep breaths fragolina. They're going to love you, I promise you that much. Okay? You hear me?" Dad says softly from the driver's seat, looking at me through the revision mirror. I slowly nod to myself. I hear him, but the words aren't registering in my brain.

I distract myself by fixing up my dress, which is a long sleeve brown midi dress, that stops just above my ankles. It's a fitted dress, but it's the looser type of tight and I can still breathe in it. I paired it with my black docs, I couldn't be bothered wearing heels. And Carlo's wearing a pair of Jordans, so it mustn't be too fancy.

I was worried about the neckline of my dress, it's a square neckline and shows the smallest amount of cleavage. Carlo had to calm me down about that, I went down a hole of thinking I looked like a whore. Just to make it better, I'm wearing a regular bra so my tits aren't in anyone's face.

I think Carlo's noticed it, my extra anxious state the past few days. He hasn't outright said anything, but just the way he's approached me and he's being gentler than usual. And I'm not sure how it makes me feel. He's the one who encouraged me to wear extra rings, and even though he didn't say it, I know it was so I had something to fidget with.

"Okay, we're here." Dad says softly, and slowly everyone starts piling out of the car. I'm the first one to get out from the back and struggle to weave my way out without stacking it. Surprisingly, Rocco gives me a hand and makes sure I don't face plant while stepping out of the car onto the concrete floor.

"Okay, we're all here?" Dad says, doing a head count of all of us, and I do a once-over of everyone myself. They're all practically wearing the same thing but in different fonts. Dad's probably the most dressed up, but that's because he wore a suit and tie to work, so he just didn't get changed when he got home.

Gi's in a dress shirt and dress pants, but the top button is undone and his sleeves are rolled up slightly, showcasing his tattoos and the gold watch sitting on his right wrist. It's probably Rolex or some ridiculously expensive brand.