Desire of Love | Soap x Fem reader

5

TW: Mention of death

The evening arrived, you and the boys were back in the camp. The day was eventful, that is for sure, such days never laid easy on you. You grabbed your sport clothes and put them on, grabbing the fabric that normally covered your face and looking at it before stripping it over your head. One last look in the mirror. Your eyes meeting the reflection of your own, you used to like them, they suited your face so well until you joined the military. Now the only thing you can see in them are the eyes of a Killer, someone that took so many lives that you lost count ages ago.

The mask protects you, hiding the spare piece of humanity you have left, giving you the chance to act stone-cold. It didn't always work the way you wanted, the man from today coming back in your head. His eyes tearing up while you killed him, he was terrified. His hands grabbing onto the arm covering his mouth. Your eyes falling back on your skin. You could still feel his hand trying to take your hand away, trying to beg you to let him live. 

The memory makes you shake your head. You snapped back to reality, rushing out of your room, away from the mirror, away from your thoughts. Your feet carried you to the gym, opening the door and walking in. 

"y/n good to see you" Soap turned around as the door opened. "It's Phantom for you" Your eyes caught his, he was sweaty, his muscles swollen. He must have been here for a while. A sign left his mouth, turning back to the bar loaded with weights. You turned your back towards him walking to the treadmill, putting your headphones on, starting to blast music loud enough to make your thoughts stop. A good while has passed your eyes shooting over to Soap a few times, he was looking down bopping his head to the music he is listening to, taking a break to hydrate himself. 

You can't stop but admit that he is a Handsome man. 

You laid back, looking up to the bar that is now hovering over your head, weights loaded. You close your eyes' before wrapping your hands around the bar one deep breath, and you pulled it off the handles, now only having your arms support the bar. Soap noticed, looking at you as you moved the bar down to your chest and back up. As your arms slowly starting to get weak, barely able to lift the bar up again, he stood up and walked over, his hands slightly supporting you to hold the bar up. No words were spoken, you pushed your limits every time the bar moved down Soap helped more to bring it back up. Every time the bar moved up he took more weight off your arms, knowing you wouldn't be able to hold it on your arms, knowing you needed to push your limits. After some time, he put the bar back on the handles, your arms have given up. Breath unsteady, you looked up at him. 

Soap unloaded the weights, putting them away for you. After sparring you a small smile, he grabbed his stuff and walked out of the Gym. Leaving you still laying there confused, slowly catching your breath. 

He helped you, made sure you don't hurt yourself. Cleaned up after you and left? Without saying a word. You sigh, maybe you were too harsh to him. 

Another 5 minutes passed before you gathered your few things and walked out. Your sweaty clothes stuck to your body. 

You walk back to your room and into the bathroom, stripping your clothes off. A step into the shower, your body meeting the warm water in an instant. After you washed the sweat off and dried yourself with a towel, you sat on your bed, gathering your thoughts. The tears in his eyes, the fear in his body.

" I need fresh air" you whispered to yourself your voice breaking apart, you don't know what bothered you so much, you have been in this field for years. Once again you put clothes on, your normal everyday clothes, the mask following shortly after. Heavy steps walking down the hall, your eyes focused on the entrance, your steps getting faster by the second as your breath became more rough. Panic overcoming you. 

The last thing you noticed before your mind became blank were blue eyes, they looked at you while you past him in the hall, trying to get to fresh air. The way they looked at you, worry written in them. 

Your feet carried you outside, further away from the building until you came to stop, you sat down on a bench. Footsteps appeared behind you. " Go away" You said, embarrassed from your sudden move of emotions. 

A heavy body sat down behind you, his back facing yours. " What's wrong?" The gentle voice spoke. 
"Soap..." you started. "You can talk to me". A sign escaped your lips as you lowered yourself, your back leaning against his. "Do you promise not to look at me?" You were vulnerable At this moment, the support from his body giving you the opportunity to let yourself loose. "I promise" His voice soft, he knew that you needed this, every hard shell breaks after time. He was going to be there for you. 

Your hand grabbed the end off your mask pulling it off your head, A silent stream of tears running down your cheeks, moving your head back meeting his shoulder, the warmth of his body gave you comfort. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" He said, his heart beating fast. He knew you took your mask off. He wanted to look, know what is being hidden under the fabric. He could feel your hair tickle the back of his neck. Your body leaning against his for support. A few seconds passed before you shook your head. He accepted it, gave you the time you needed. Staying with you in case you need someone to talk to. Ages have passed, hours even he can't remember. He sat there giving you the support you need. 

What you didn't know was that he needed this time as much as you, his mind slipping. Peace streaming through his body. It felt good. It felt Human. 

word count: 1067

Winning is fun, but those moments that you can touch someone's life in a very positive way are better. - Tim Howard