Shadows

Something To Talk About

I was standing at the nurses' station. George, Izzie and Cristina talked about Meredith and how she seemed miserable. Meredith and Dr Bailey walked over.

"Where's Karev?" Dr Bailey asked.

"Probably off somewhere, not kissing somebody," Izzie complained.

"Let's go," Dr Bailey said. We walked to a patient's room. I zoned out and didn't realise until Dr Bailey jabbed my side. I jolted.

"Sorry. What were you saying?" I asked Dr Burke.

"Can anyone tell me why we would keep the heart beating?" Dr Burke asked.

"If you have several surgeries on one specific area of the body in a short amount of time it can cause stress on the muscle. The heart is an important muscle so we need to keep the stress off the heart," I said.

"Nearly," Dr Burke said. "O'Malley?"

"Scar tissue is too deep. Heart's too weak to start up again so you only immobilize the portion you're working on and you leave the rest of the heart on its own," George said.

"Welcome to the case," Dr Burke said handing George the file.

"Thank you," George said. The rest of us walked out. Alex was assigned to work with Derek. I was leaning against the wall. Meredith, Izzie and Cristina left.

"Montgomery, I don't know where your head is at right now but you'd better put it back on your shoulders," Dr Bailey said.

"I'm sorry Dr Bailey," I said. "It won't happen again,"

"Go post-ops," Dr Bailey said.

Timeskip

I was in the NICU checking on Addison's patients.

"It certainly has been a while," I heard behind me. I turned to see Renee.

"Your wife was discharged," I said.

"I came to see you," Renee said.

"No," I said.

"No?" Renee asked.

"Just go, Renee. I'm not interested in whatever you have to say," I said walking out to the elevator. Addison walked out of the elevator.

"You're avoiding me," Addison said. I dodged her and ran up the stairs.

Timeskip

I was sitting smoking outside leaning against my car.

"Hot doctors sit alone?" Charlie asked walking over. She took the cigarette out of my mouth. She sprayed me with perfume. I took breath spray out of my lab coat and sprayed it. "I got you lunch,"

"I'm not hungry," I said.

"You've got to eat," Charlie said. I shook my head. "I fight with people for a living and I'm one of the city's best so shush and eat for me," I sat and ate the sandwich Charlie brought me.

"Thanks for lunch," I said.

"What's going on with you?" Charlie asked.

"I don't know. My head is kind of a mess with this whole Addison, Derek and Meredith thing. But I don't know what's going on and I feel weird," I said. "But that's not important right now. I've missed you,"

"I've missed you too," Charlie said. "I'm sorry but I've got to head back to work," Charlie said.

"Lunch is on me next time," I said. Charlie smiled.

"Don't worry that pretty little head of yours," Charlie said kissing my cheek. Charlie walked away and I headed back inside the hospital.

Timeskip

I walked into an empty gallery or what I thought was an empty gallery. Addison and Chief Webber were there.

"Mini Montgomery we were talking about you," Chief Webber said. Addison looked at me. "Help me persuade Addison to stay,"

"All due respect sir Addison doesn't do something unless she wants to do it," I said.

"Wouldn't it be nice to learn from your older sister?" Chief asked. "You could be just as good,"

"Yeah," I said. Addison looked at me.

"Richard, Ana doesn't know what speciality she wants to do yet. She doesn't like letting people down so she agrees. It's also the fact that you're her boss and she can't tell people no. She's going to be a great surgeon no matter what speciality she picks," Addison said.

"I think it would be a shame if you didn't follow in your sister's footsteps. You have potential," Chief Webber said. I put the charts down on the chair.

"I'm not Addison. I'm her sister and yes she's taught me everything I know. It's unrealistic and quite frankly unfair for you to have those expectations of me when we're completely separate people," I said. "Oh my god. I just snapped at the Chief of Surgery. I'll go pack my locker,"

"You're right. I shouldn't be putting pressure on you to be great. It's unfair to you," Chief Webber said. "I'd better get back to work. Addie let me know what you decide," Chief Webber said walking out. Addison didn't say anything but she wrapped her arms around me.

"You're not okay," Addison said.

"I know you're not her biggest fan but everyone is talking and pointing at her and I feel guilty. I should have said something to her about Derek being married. Or I should have called you down here sooner," I rambled on. Addison pulled me closer to her.

"Shh. You're okay. Just relax," Addison said.

"Renee turned up too so that didn't help. Charlie brought me lunch. I like her," I said. "But maybe I'm throwing myself at her as a rebound. She doesn't deserve that," I said.

"Dakota, listen to me. It's not your fault that Derek didn't tell Meredith about me. It wasn't your truth to tell. I'm not mad that you didn't tell me about them. Derek's been a big part of your life. He's always going to be a brother to you and so is Mark. As for Charlie, she wouldn't let you use her as a rebound," Addison said. "Now would you stop spiralling?" I nodded.

"I've got to get back to work," I said. "Oh, and if you want my opinion on Seattle it's nice. It's not New York and you'll definitely stand out with  Gucci shoes and your Burberry coat. But it's a very nice city. Joe's is great. You might stick your nose job up at it but it's cosy and a second home to most of the people in this hospital. That makes it sound like we all have drinking problems. What I'm trying to say is give it a chance," I said. Addison laughed. "Oh and there's this park not far from the apartment. Nate loves it,"

"You have work go," Addison said. I walked out and found Bailey.

"Montgomery, what do you want?" Dr Bailey asked.

"Uh. I'm sorry about this morning. I was kind of in my head. But it won't happen again," I said.

"We talked about this earlier," Dr Bailey said.

"I know. I just wanted to make sure you knew. Not that I'm insinuating you don't listen. That's not what I mean," I said.

"Montgomery, we talked and cleared it up," Dr Bailey said.

"So we're okay?" I asked.

"I thought I made that clear this morning. Why did you bring it back up?" Dr Bailey asked.

"Uhh. I don't know. Force of habit," I said.

"Go do these post-ops," Dr Bailey said.

Timeskip

I was changing out of my scrubs as Meredith walked into the locker room.

"Hey," I said.

"Hi. Are we okay?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah. I was just in my own head earlier. Sorry," I said.

"It's okay. Would you like to come to Joe's?" Meredith asked.

"I would love to but I promised Nate we'd make cookies tonight," I said.

"Then we'll do it another night," Meredith said. I nodded.