I hate you sm. And it's odd cause I don't hate you. I want the best for you. I never cared for someone like I cared for you. I love you with all of my heart and I absolutely hate that I love you. But unfortunately love isn't a choice and even more unfortunately Ik that even if it was I wouldn't hesitate to choose you every fucking time. Ever since everything has happened I have had nightmares every night and it fucking sucks. And Ik your not interested in me and that I'm not your type but this shit hurts. I don't understand why you would lead me on, tell me you love me, just to stab me like that. It hurts. Like really really fucking bad. I don't trust a lot of people but I trusted you with my heart. The worst part is I still do. You made me feel cared about in a way nobody else would. Which is odd because looking back I think you liked my body more than my personality. You stole my heart and then shattered it. Twice. And I still can't even get mad. I hate that you weren't ready for a relationship but as soon as you ditched me it was time. I hate that you led me on. I hate that you played me. I hate that I care. I hate everything about this but I can't get out of it. It's a fucking loop. Every time I think I'm over you, you just manage to come back. I try convincing myself you loved me but I honestly don't know anymore. I don't know about any of this. But all I can do is sit here and wish that you loved me the way I love you. The dreams fight in my head every night. I'm hurt. A lot. And I don't know if it's gonna get better. But the point is I love you. I always will. You will always hold a special place in my heart and I hate you for it.
YOU ARE READING
Aiden
PoetryBreakups are hard especially your first big one. Mine shattered my heart and this is how I felt about him and I hope it might be relatable for someone else so they know they aren't alone feeling like this. This talks about the pain and distress my l...
