Khwahish

Twenty

Mahira opened her eyes with a groan. She looked around the dark room, it was still night time. She turned to see the figure sleeping beside her. Ruhaan was on his stomach, his hair a mess, a hot mess according to her as they fell over his forehead. A day old stubble marked his cheek. He had shaved just yesterday for his sister's wedding. She ran the back of her hand against his cheek lightly and he sighed in his sleep. She preferred the stubble. She felt familiar wetness between her legs and sat up.

What a great first day.

Ruhaan woke up a couple minutes later to find Mahira sitting on the bed with her face in her hands and shoulders shaking. He sat up with a jerk. "Baby? Why are you crying?" She pulled her hand away and looked at him. "I ruined your bedsheet." Ruhaan frowned.

Why was she crying for bedsheets? Oh!

"You got your period?" She nodded. Ruhaan sighed and kissed her cheek. "It's okay. It's just a sheet, I'll change it. Stop crying." She wiped her tears and leaned into his chest. "My stomach hurts."

"I know baby, I'll fetch you a heating pad. Do you want something to eat? Or to drink?" She shook her head but her stomach grumbled. Ruhaan closed his eyes. He has seen her do this before. "Mahi....... I know this is a sensitive subject, but I am your husband and I really care for you. Do you by any chance have an eating disorder?" She shut her eyes and pulled away from him. That was answer enough.

But then she gave him an actual answer. "I did. I am trying to work and be better but the most I've come to is eat two meals a day."

"So you only used to eat one?" She nodded. "I don't know if you've noticed, well I think you have, everyone with eyes can notice that I don't have a perfect figure. I am not thin, and I don't have a flat stomach. I've tried everything, working out as much as I could but I am just not made for it. So I stopped eating. I ate one meal a day, that too some ridiculous salad but that fucked up my body even more because I didn't have the right nutrients. I have grown to like my body and be comfortable in it but that doesn't mean others like it too, and every taunt about it had fucked me up. I went for therapy and it helped but not enough. I can't eat. Even if I try to, my body rejects the food."

"Do you like your own body?"

"Yeah bu-"

"Then it's all that matters. People have mouths they're going to run them. It doesn't mean we have to listen."

"But I wish I had a perfect body like.....Riya, she is literally perfect." He frowned again.

"Mahi, your body is, perfect. Perfection is subjective, it's different for everyone and Riya isn't your competition. She is a model, not everyone has to look like her, she was made to look the way she is by fashion moguls to set ridiculous beauty standards. That isn't real. Ask her how much she hates being able to eat what she wants one a month. Your body is great and don't you ever listen to that evil witch of a stepmother you have."

"How do you know it was her who said this to me?"

"It was a guess, she is the only grim reaper around here." Mahira chuckled. Her evil stepmother did taunt her alot about her weight. Mahira nodded. She can't change in a day. But sure she can try. But a slight part of her, pretty much like alot of other people seeked validation. "Do you like my body?" He is her husband afterall. Ruhaan smiled and leaned forward to kiss her neck. He took her hand in his and kept it on the very obvious tent in his sweatpants. "You tell me."

Her eyes widened a little and she pushed him away lightly. Ruhaan chuckled, "go change. I'll replace the bedsheet." She got down from the bed. And walked towards the bathroom. "And Mahi?" She turned around to look at him.