BRUISES

| Thirty |

We all gasp when the envelope catches fire. Jules apologizes repeatedly and Penny lunges forward. Grabbing the poker, she flings the envelope out of the pit and it hits the muddy ground.

I rush to it and stomp my foot down at what is left. Vivi cups her hands over her face and doesn't move. Clarry and Em's mouths are shaped like an O. Parts of the envelope is saved and without thinking of burning my fingers, I tear it open.

Inside is a letter and burnt ash falls between my fingertips. Jules doesn't stop apologizing with tears streaming down her cheeks. She begins splurging out random things I don't understand. Vivi begins comforting her and handing her water to drink.

With wide eyes, I read what is left of the letter. Holes are burned through and it is faded from the smoke. Penny is cowering over me but I notice what the letter is written for. Jules is frustrated that she doesn't remember but is afraid to know.

Crumbling the letter into my hands, I let the ash paint my hands grey. Because I deserve to be the killer in disguise. All we had left of Rubies and that night is gone. Now I am the one who can tell what we know.

I stand and toss the paper ball into the fire. It crackles in response and I can almost see a silhouette figure in the black smoke.

"What was it?" Penny asks me in alarm, the poker still in her hand. I rub the debris on my sweatpants and sigh. Ignoring that I stained it with white and grey paste.

Clarry and Em look at me and it's hard to breathe. Jules has calmed down and Vivi is crouching next to her chair.

"About the night of the party." I confirm and it goes silent.

"What about it?" Penny wonders, her voice heavy with wrath. Em glances at her and leans back in her seat with fear.

"I-I don't know." I fumble, aware that I can say what I know but I'm afraid to.

Em groans and Clarry points at Jules, "Theo you have to tell us. You are the only person Rubies told!" She shouts and I grind my teeth together.

"Rubies could've been lying for all I know!" I yell back, angry for being pressured. My ugly is showing and without thinking, I hit my arm with my fist.

It pangs with it's own heartbeat in the center of my healing bruise. By surprise, all the girls eyes widen and Jules stares at me with her mouth wide. A whimper escapes my parted lips because I don't want them to know. They don't know this side of me.

"I'm sorry, fuck." I spit out, my voice tight from holding back tears. 

"Theo," Vivi murmurs and I raise my hand in a silent gesture.

"Em didn't do anything." I clarify, staring at Penny. "Rubies was upstairs with Vivi and Jules because Jules was throwing up. Rubies went to look for you and she heard a bedroom door open. She didn't think anything of it but Em walked out with Brennan. Rubies overheard them and thought Brennan caught Em flirting with Andrew but they weren't."

Em is frozen in her seat, surprised to hear me tell them all. Jules's eyes are glistening like glass.

"She would never do that do you, Penny and Rubies left too soon to realize what was going on. It didn't make it any better when Em and Andrew were arguing later."

"And what was it?" She sneers and Em slaps her hands against her thighs. Our attention turn to her.

We glance at her and wait for a response. It takes a little long before Em curls her fists and sighs, "Brennan wasn't happy with me. We were fighting about something and he... hit me."

She begins crying, "And I'm still here with him."

Clarry rubs her back in small circles. My shoulders drop and Penny's expression softens in realization. It's as though Penny knows more but Rubies didn't see. Em's small frame, her cut cheekbones and frail hair. She hasn't been well either.