Letters To Alex

Why

It feels good to be writing again. I hope you guys enjoy the chapter! I'm a little rusty, so feedback would be very appreciated!

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In my haste to run away I ran into a pair of warm comforting arms. I went still for a second, before looking up to find Jackie's worried face. I quickly disentangled myself from her, rubbing my eyes, hopefully removing any evidence of my tears.

"Are you oka-"

"I can't talk about right now. I'm sorry," I interrupted. I was already on the verge of tears. I could barely hold myself together. I knew I could be pushed over the edge in just a matter of seconds.

Jackie nodded solemnly. Because we had science together, we walked together in silence. I kept

my eyes cast downward. I didn't want to accidently run into the sight of Alex and Sophia; I couldn't bare seeing them a second time.

All of my morning classes seemed to pass by in a blur. I barely paid any attention to any of my classes. All of my teachers, catching onto my gloomy mood, asked if I was ok. I gave them the same flat response, every single time. "I'm okay, just tired," I would say never once meeting any of my teachers' stare.

It was finally lunch time. I was pushed and shoved by students, eager for the break, as I walked meekly towards the cafeteria. The cafeteria was full by the time I made my entrance. Bubbly and chatting students filled the long vertical tables that covered the length of the run. I preceded to stand in the long line of students waiting to grab their lunch.

I sighed.

I was mentally preparing myself for the bombardment of questions I would undoubtedly receive from all of my friends. Being a very shy person, I was hardly ever able to make friends, without them talking to me first. Because of this, I didn't have many friends to account for, but I was okay with that. The people I did share a friendship with were some of the most kind, and brilliant people I had met. But, because of my small circle of friends, I hardly had any of them in any of my classes. For the most part my mood went unnoticed and unquestioned, for which I was extremely grateful.

I picked up the red lunch tray with what seemed like some sort of...lasagna? I shrugged and quickly picked up cucumber slices and a banana. It had become a sort of tradition for me to always pair my lunches with cucumber slices and a banana. I was always being teased, especially by Rachel, but I never got tired of it and so, it continued.

Finally emerging out of the lunch line, with my red bright red tray, I scanned the bubbly sea of students in search of my friends. Thankfully, Rachel noticed me and waved her hand frantically at me. My friends were sitting at a table on left corner of the cafeteria, right next to the large floor to ceiling windows, onlooking our small school garden.

I quietly sat down in between Jackie and Rachel and ate my lunch. I knew they were staring, but I didn't look up to meet any of their stairs, instead consuming my lunch in a very slow manner. Maybe, just maybe, I could avoid their stares if I just ate my lunch throughout the whole period.

Jackie sighed and quickly Jonathon, the goofball in the group, started recalling something funny that had happened in his first period. I really hadn't listened to his story, but as everyone started to laugh, I couldn't help but smile. I was just happy the tense mood had dissipated. None of my friends asked about this morning's events, but I knew that, that wouldn't last long.

As the lunch period ended I left the cafeteria with a renewed lightness in my step. This morning's events starting to fade, thanks to the ridiculous antics of my friends. No matter what mood I was in they could always make me feel better. I silently thanked all of them for becoming my friends; I really didn't know what I would do without that group of goofballs.

I almost was my old self as I settled in my desk. The day passed much more smoothly. I studiously took notes and worked on my assignments. I carefully listened to each and every lesson that was taught. No other teacher asked me if I was okay, because I was okay. Practically skipping, I entered my last class for the day. I was taking out my mechanical pencil and notebook, when an all too familiar voice called my name.

"Eve?" I sat still, completely shocked. With my light mood I had completely forgotten that I had my last class with...Alex. The only class I had with him this year and I had forgotten. I was almost as shocked at my forgetfulness than at Alex calling out my name.

"Eve?" Alex called out again, concern laced in his voice. I finally reacted from my shocked state, but I couldn't look up into his wondrous eyes.

"Yeah?" I meekly answered. All of the emotions from this morning came rushing back to me. I couldn't look up into his eyes; I would simply lose it.

"Are you okay? I saw you this morning before class...it looked like you had been crying," He quietly said, the concern even more evident. I could only nod in response to his question.

I felt so stupid. He seemed genuinely concerned and I couldn't even look up to meet his gaze. But, I couldn't look up into his eyes. I know that if I did I would cry right in front of him.

The bell rang, I heard all the students shuffle to their seats. I expect Alex to take his usual seat, closer to the front of the classroom and away from mine. But, as I finally looked up, I saw Alex taking the seat right next to mine. This time I did look up at him, my mouth slightly agape. Alex noticed my reaction and gave me a small smile. "I just want to make sure you're okay." At his statement I had to look down again. I felt my face instantly get red and my stomach do summersaults.

I really tried to concentrate and listen to what Ms. More, our English teacher, was teaching, but I couldn't. My heart was fluttering and my stomach kept its onslaught of summersaults. When Ms. More announced that it was time for free write, I did the only think that would calm me down.

I wrote a letter to Alex... as he sat in the desk next to mine... giving me a soft grin.

Dear Alex,

How do you do it? How can you make me feel miserable and then have the power to make me feel so...happy? Why were you so significant to me?

"What are you writing about?" I heard Alex say as he tried to peek at my paper from his desk. I dropped my pencil and I instantly froze.